When someone believes in you: What does that do for you?
Helps you believe in yourself
Fosters confidence building
Builds self-respect
Offers you hope
Spurs you to seek out opportunities of self-fulfillment
Gives you energy
Maybe you feel different, angry, nervous, or insecure. Can you imagine what someone's belief in you would do for you? Wow! It could be life-changing.
But also, dig deep to find belief in yourself.
You have to believe in yourself in order for your dreams to come true and your life to be fulfilling.
Nobody can give that to you. They can believe in you, but if that belief doesn't transfer to you, it won't do you any good.
And you need to be ready to receive that belief and run with it and use it for good.
Do you have someone in your life who believes in you? What has that done for your confidence, your self-respect, your productivity?
Who has believed in you? A teacher, a parent, a spouse? Maybe a friend, a member of the clergy, a boss? Could be a doctor, nurse, therapist, a coach. Who was it in your case? I'd love to hear about them.
Hi there! I got up early to exercise this morning. I got a great workout exercising along to Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds 3-Mile DVD. Yay! When the alarm went off, I thought, oh no, but I got up, got going and was glad I did. Her DVD's are adaptable, fun, and offer up a really good workout. And, I'm being paid to say that! I've been using her videos for years. Do you have chronic health issues? If so, do you exercise? Whether you can walk or not, in most cases there are exercises you can do. Don't listen to the naysayers that discourage you because they think you're unable to exercise or that you'll just make a mistake and get hurt. Please, you're not a two year old. You know your body and that it's important to take care of it. Listen to it and exercise! But, please, the first thing you need to do is check with your doctor to see what exercises you can and cannot do relative to your chronic health issues. Then pick exercises that are fun for you to do and take it slow. You want to challenge yourself, yes, but you don't want to hurt yourself. You may even want to talk with a personal trainer, exercise scientist, fitness coach, or physical therapist to get tips on where to start, what exercises to do, and so on. You can also ask me questions if you like since I was a fitness coach for eight years. I still know a thing or two about fitness. And if I don't know the answer, I can refer you to someone who may be able to help you. Exercise doesn't just help you lose weight, it can reduce the risk of certain diseases, boost your mood, improve your sleep, and much more. So, get out there, find out what you can and cannot do, and have fun--for life!
Hi! I'm back to bring you the second part of my vlog on imagination. In the first part, I talked about how I have used imagination to relieve stress throughout my life. In today's vlog, I talk about how imagination can help you and how to actually tap into your imagination. Here we go. How can imagination help you? Stress relief: Some stress is good. It challenges you to get things done, meet deadlines, grow/change for good, and so on. But getting too stressed out can be harmful to your health. Stress can cause:
physical symptoms
missed work due to illness
psychological symptoms
relationship issues and more. It can touch all areas of your life.
Using imagination for good: While imagination can cause disease, it also can heal. You may worry yourself sick (literally) about money, tests, surgery, relationships--even about getting sick! How about using it for good instead to:
see the big picture
relieve stress
work out problems/find solutions
practice conversations with doctors, bosses, friends, teachers, family, lawyers, insurance agents--anyone
get relief from the negativity that's bogging you down either in your head or from others
improve your emotional and mental well being
So, how do you do this?
How do you practice imagining to reap the benefits of it?
Ask yourself what imagination would do for you that's positive
Make room for imagination in your life
Use active imagination, which was created by Carl Jung, to connect the conscious and sub-conscious. Examples are dream interpretation, visualization, and daydreaming. You can imagine an army representing the immune system fighting the disease, or enemy. Or you can imagine a meadow of wildflowers or the seashore that is calming. You can also use meditation to bring yourself to a safe place in which to work out problems that cause fear. And how about viewing your health issue as a movie? What do you see? How do you feel? How did you get this health issue? What can you do to ease the symptoms or recover?
Commit to taking action based on what you learned from your imagination
Do more of what you love (sing, exercise, eat your favorite foods, place fresh flowers throughout the house), in order to attract positive energy. This positive energy sharpens your critical thinking and decision-making skills, which you need in order to solve problems and reduce stress.
Keep a lookout for signs, symbols, and synchronicity. For example, when I'm feeling down and I see a cloud in the shape of a feather, I take it as a sign that my guardian angel has my back since the feather is a sign that your guardian angel is nearby.
Make sure to review what you're doing to see what works and what doesn't. Make adjustments as needed.
It is very important to become aware of what you need in order to facilitate change. Go within yourself, using your imagination, to help you find out.
PNI
Robert Ader, a psychologist, and Nicholas Cohen, an immunologist, came up with the term psychoneuroimmunology. What's that all about? Let's take a look:
The idea behind the big name is that the mind can activate specific neurological processes which in turn can stimulate the immune system to suppress illness and improve health. Yay, I love it!
And, as I mentioned earlier, while the mind's reaction to stress can stunt immunity and promote illness, visualization, imagination, and such can stimulate the immune system to better fight disease. Who-hoo!
Okay, here are more ways to tap into this awesome thing called imagination:
relax
get a clear image of your immune system fighting your disease--whatever health issue you're dealing with. This could be an army fighting an enemy, a bunch of big fish representing your immune system devouring a bunch of other fish representing your disease or another stressor, or a stream of light that surrounds you and fills you with healing energy.
Here's the but, and a counter but
All this isn't backed by copious amounts of research, but it can be used safely as a part of your healthcare plan in conjunction with your traditional medical treatments and therapies. It can't hurt you to use your imagination for good. The only way it could hurt you is if you decided to live in your imaginary world and never deal with reality. Try it to ease your mind and stress lwhen you most need it and see how you feel. See if it helps. And, if it does, which has been true in my case, wow! Imagine, with more solid research data, what a wonderful feeling it would be to have your doctor actually prescribe imagination as a potential treatment for what's ailing you!
Hi all! I'm back from vacation. We had a good time in California celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary and visiting a friend. This vlog is a summary of how I used imagination to relieve stress throughout my life, especially during my early years.
I invented an imaginary world in my bedroom from as far back as I can remember where I was healthy, strong, talented, popular, married, a mom, working at a job I loved, and so on.
I worked out problems
Practiced conversations that I would have with doctors, teachers, family members, friends, and job interviewers
I was creative: drawing, painting, singing, dancing, writing for hours on end.
It freed me from the stress, provided an escape, at least temporarily
It helped me build confidence
I did overdo it a bit as I got into my teens, spending as much time as possible in my sanctuary. That probably wasn't as healthy as tempered imagination would have been, but I say it still benefited me and may have saved my life. I was very insecure, lost, depressed throughout my childhood as a result of dealing with my chronic health issues, surgeries, pain, doctor's appointments, therapies, and so on. And I hated using a wheelchair. I felt like it made me stick out rather than giving me freedom and mobility. The imaginary world I created gave me a much-needed break from the stress.
In Part 2, I'll talk about how imagination can ease stress and promote healing as well as how to actually tap into your imagination and use it for good rather than negative means.
Do you use your imagination for stress relief? Or do you use it to worry, imagining the worst? What type of results have you seen?
Wake up feeling every ache and pain but determined to help others.
Put others first.
Ignore the voice inside; your gut that says you've done enough. You are enough.
Be angry, sad, lonely, tired, frustrated, hurt, insulted, fearful, ashamed due to your health issues and the reactions of others toward those issues.
Try to be everything to everyone.
Sit alone, staring at the wall feeling sorry for yourself.
Stay in an unhealthy relationship because you think no one else will want you.
OR
You can:
Wake up and decide to tackle the day with determination, enthusiasm, grace, patience, positivity, getting real, productivity, doing, being, putting one foot in front of the other.
Try, fail, take the breaks you need, try again, maybe succeed next time, thrive, live life to the fullest.
Help yourself so you can help others.
Live a life you can smile and be happy about.
Which option sounds the healthiest to you?
Which life do you want to lead?
Which life have you led up to now?
What changes do you need to make to live your best life?
You can, you know . . . live your best life. The best that you know is inside you.
Whatever that is. You find that within you.
Are you ready? Get started.
Little by little
Bit by bit
Step by step
What does it mean to you to live your life?
How can you make changes to live a fulfilling life?
Have you already made them? How did it go?
Email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or comment below.
I may or may not have a post next week. I'm taking next week off and plan to unplug as much as possible. So, let's just plan on meeting again back here in a couple weeks.
Take care! Tomorrow is June already! Wow! I hope you have so fun summer plans.
Hi there, all! I hope you're having a good weekend so far. Medication advertisements with every symptom and side effect known to man. Do you find this helpful or frightening, or unnecessary? Let's look at the topic more closely: The positives: They give you lots of information about the medication, so you then can decide from there whether or not you want to contact your doctor about it. The negatives: They tell you all this stuff that may turn you off from even asking your doctor about it, or considering taking it for something it could really people alleviate. What would be better?:
Talk to your doctor or pharmacist to get information on the advertised medication.
Leave out the side effects and such from the advertisement and leave it to your doctor to tell you that information specific to your situation.
Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about any medication you have questions about before taking it.
Consider natural medicine: Combine it with modern medicine, massage, herbs, acupressure, acupuncture, energy medicine/therapy, hypnosis, meditation, and more.
Please don't:
take any new medication without first consulting a qualified healthcare professional.
take others' medication that was not prescribed to you.
take medication in the amount other than the recommended dosage.
keep taking a medication if you experience troubling side effects. Call your doctor or pharmacist, call 9-1-1, or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
take medications you are unsure of. You know your body better than anyone else. Listen to it. Work with your doctors to find the best treatment for your health issues.
What do you think of medication advertisements? Have you ever asked your doctor about a medication you found out about through an advertisement?
I had the honor and pleasure of being interviewed by Carol Cassara, Hypnotherapist and Healing Arts Advocate, for her blog on A Healing Spirit.org. Please check it out. I'd love your thoughts on the interview and encourage you to check out Carol's other posts and services to see if they are a good fit for you. I'm a big fan of Carol's and enjoy her blog immensely. She offers lots of insight into many different topics relating to friendship, spirituality, politics, health, lifestyle, wellness, family, and more. This is not a paid post. I'm not affiliated with Carol Cassara in any professional or commercial way other than as a fellow coach who admires her work.
You take time to make your doctor appointments and go to them
You follow doctor's orders
You put up with surgeries, recovery, therapies
You take your medication
You do what you are supposed to do
You work your life in around your medical stuff/ health maintenance
You ask your family what you can do for them. You do it and they don't seem to appreciate it.
They don't seem to latch onto concepts or tool that you share with them, even though they were open to discussion.
Okay, true, everyone has a right to their own opinion. Not everyone is going to agree with you. They don't have to. I'm talking about hitting a brick wall with them over and over again.
You spend energy and time you really don't have on others.
You have lots to do for your health maintenance, you may not have a lot of energy to spare to do the things you're doing for others, but you do them. You somehow fit it all in. And, they never take notice!
You exhaust yourself by giving yourself and your energy and your time to others yet they don't have time for you.
You do what others want you to do. You go where they want to you to go. Yet, when you want them to do something, you hit that wall, over and over again.
You also try to help but are ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed, maybe.
Particularly about medical stuff, perhaps. You've got all this experience with chronic health issues, managing your health care, doing what needs to be done, yet when you try to give advice or even are asked for advice on a health matter, you are ignored. Your friend or loved one doesn't listen. They do the exact opposite of what they should, in fact.
Is it worth it? Is it worth it to care if they don't seem to?
Only you can answer that. Only you know you're individual situations. Only you know that particular person you're dealing with.
I have mentioned "The Four Tendencies," by Gretchen Rubin before. The four tendencies are Obliger, Questioner, Rebel, and Upholder. I am an obliger. I have trouble meeting my inner expectations yet I meet outer expectations more easily. I'm a helper, so that's not surprising. But when I help, help, help, oblige, oblige, oblige, and get nowhere, get stonewalled, then I turn into a Rebel. Rebels don't meet either inner or outer expectations. I just stop obliging those who stonewall me in my personal life.
In my work as a coach, I also oblige, gladly. I love helping others. But I also have to be honest with the client who isn't showing up for sessions, isn't involved, isn't trying to help themselves. I have to ask them what's holding them back. I have to ask them if they feel that I'm not the right coach for them. And I have to ask them if maybe they would work better with another coach, or even a counselor or psychologist. It would be irresponsible of me to keep coaching someone who is clearly not getting anything out of the sessions.
So, do you have people in your life who don't listen to you? Do you struggle to oblige them without getting anything in return?
Service dogs can provide help to people with vision problems, hearing problems, and other disabilities. Do you have one? Do you need one? Are you contemplating getting one? I looked up the law and it didn't require a vest for the dog. I thought that was odd. It would seem that people would have less trouble with a service animal being in a store or restaurant if the animal was obviously a service animal. Otherwise, anyone could say the animal was a service animal and it could simply be their pet that they didn't want to leave alone at home or in the car. The Americans with Disabilities Act states that people with disabilities are allowed public access rights for their specially trained assistance dogs. Anywhere. There are rules, though.
the dog must be well-behaved and under control, on a leash or harness
the dog must be well-groomed
the person is responsible for the dog including cleaning up any messes, keeping the dog under control, and paying for any damage the dog does
the dog must be trained to perform one or more tasks for the person
Business owners are allowed to ask only two questions of a person with a dog coming into their business:
Is that your pet?
What does the dog do for you?
What business owners can't ask:
What is your disability?
For proof of disability
For proof of where the dog was trained
How to get a service dog
Get a letter from your doctor stating that you are disabled under the American Disabilities Act.
You need to know what you need help with so the dog can be specifically trained for that purpose.
You must be willing to wait for the dog to be trained.
Pay about $25,000 for a professionally trained dog. You can train your own dog, too, though.
Emotional support dogs
Can live with you in housing where dogs aren't allowed without paying an extra fee.
Can fly with you without additional fees.
Any dog can be an emotional support dog and they don't have to be specially trained.
It's a good idea to get a vest or tag, though, to save the hassle of explaining the dog's presence everywhere you go.
Some conditions you can have a support dog for are: anxiety, phobias, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts/tendencies.
Consult your doctor for information on how to go about getting an emotional support dog.
More information:
Even if a business posts a "no pets" sign, service dogs are allowed.
Business owners cannot charge a maintenance fee for allowing the dog to enter.
The dog isn't required to wear a vest, but it is recommended
What do you think of the fact that emotional support dogs don't have to be trained? I think that's kind of odd. I wouldn't want just any dog in the store. If they don't like the scent of someone, or another trained dog comes along, the untrained dog could cause a lot of trouble.
No matter what health issues your child deals with, he/she can do something. SOMEthing!
I remember when my niece was very young, someone was trying to help her do something and she said, "No, me do!" I cheered! Yes, yes, yes! Let your child do what she can on her own.
Find what he can do and let him do it. Let him shine!
Stay nearby, but let her walk or wheel on her own.
Let her fold laundry.
Let him go to the grocery store as he gets older and help you decide what to buy for food that week; how to budget; how to compare prices; and so on.
Let her have parties, and go to parties. Get educated about what the situation is, and get prepared. Where is the party? Do you know the parents? Who is chaperoning? What will your child need to bring? Then let her go for it!
School trips. I went on a few school trips, but the first one alone without my mom was when I was a junior in high school. I was too nervous and self-conscious to go before and no one pushed me to. I was loved, no question, but I was sheltered as a kid but I didn't push back. I made the mistake of not insisting that my family to let me do what I could do.
Sleepovers. I had two when I was in third grade, with the same girl, at my parents' house. Again, get educated as to the circumstances, be prepared, and let your child go for it. She may have problems, but let her try it. Figure out what worked and didn't work this time, and adjust accordingly for next time.
As your child gets older, teach him how to pump gas. He may have a vehicle one day, and if he can possibly learn to fill his own car with gas, let him. Basic maintenance, too!
Let your child do as much as possible on her own, whether she has chronic health issues or not. It will build confidence. Try it from Day 1, so your child can better handle life without you.
If your child can't possibly manage parties, budgeting, school trips, and the like, find a facility in your area that provides socialization and perhaps basic skills training. Providing socialization opportunities for your child is so important. Learning to deal with a variety of locations, people, situations, and so on, will help him grow up to be a more centered, balanced human being.
Crying is often seen as shameful or a weakness. But, it can actually be healthy. According to WebMD, Some psychologists say we are cheating ourselves by avoiding crying, holding it back, keeping our emotions inside. Why? Benefits of crying Well, crying:
activates the body in a healthy way
opens us up
releases stress
promotes mental health
relaxes muscles
activates the parasympathetic nervous system (This is part of the autonomic nervous system. Functions include sexual arousal, waste removal, digestion, and saliva stimulation.)
regulates the body's balance
Also, emotional tears have more stress hormones than other types of tears, such as those that lubricate and those that come along when we get something in our eye. These tears have more mood-boosting manganese. Where should you cry?
So, where do health professionals recommend you cry? That is a personal choice, but they generally recommend finding a quiet place to cry such as a special sanctuary, someplace in nature, or a quiet room.
If you would rather find comfort with others, cry on a loved one's shoulder or attend a crying group. Yep, that's right, there are crying groups where you can go and cry together with a lot of other people. While the source I used mentioned a group in Japan, you may decide to start your own crying group right in your local community.
Whatever you do, don't give yourself a hard time for crying. Here are tips from Psychology Today:
cry for yourself and others.
cry at what sets off tears, however small or big.
cry for as long as you see fit. Look inside and you will know how long you need.
look inside for the cause of the tears so you can figure out how to take action to solve it.
if you can't cry right away due to your location (say you are in the middle of a meeting at work), set aside time later in the day to revisit your emotions. The tears may or may not come, but that is okay.
be kind to yourself in relation to your crying. Don't blame yourself or poo-poo the situation. For example, avoid saying, "I'm so weak," or "I'm crying over nothing."
Whether to cry in public is your choice. Some professionals say it may be healthy. Strangers are generally receptive to crying and offer comfort rather than shying away in fear. But others say to seek a quiet, private place to shed tears. Do whatever feels right to you.
A note of caution
If you can't get relief from or stop crying, seek help from your healthcare provider.
When I was a small child, I refused to cry when I was in pain or scared in the hospital. The result? A stomach ulcer at the age of three. Yes, three. This is serious business, folks. If you hold your emotions in, you could face serious health consequences. When the doctors discovered the ulcer, they told me that from then on, I should scream and cry if I was feeling bad. I have taken their advice ever since.
So, do you cry over your health problems, pain, other people's pain, hurt feelings, disappointments, or when you are afraid? Or do you keep everything inside?
Are you tired of people? I mean, the nitpicking, not showing up? Assuming you can't do anything because you walk differently or use a wheelchair? Friends falling off the radar? And, what can you do about it? That's what I'm talking about in the video above. What are your experiences with people that just grate on your nerves? And, what have you done to remedy the situation?
This post is all about social media. Do you like it, do you hate it, are you indifferent? Does it foster friendships or keep them dragging on and on when they should have just been left to fade away? Is it more important to stay in touch offline than online, or are both worth considering? What do you think? What are your experiences with social media? Do you rely on it? Avoid it? Let me know.
Do you beat yourself up every time you eat what you shouldn't, don't exercise, don't take your medication on time, blame yourself for your friend's problems? In this video I talk about how this is counter-productive. It just doesn't help--anything. Do you beat yourself up? Have you broken the habit of doing so? What have been the results?
Hi! I hope you had a great weekend. Mine was full of birthday stuff. It started out on a rough note. I was in a funk. But it was good overall. I also talk about making a fresh start in 2018. I cover all my priorities, what I've started taking action on, and what plans I for the year ahead. I took time away from the Internet over the weekend. I have to admit, it was difficult because I've made so many great friends online. I missed you all! But I know that it is important to unplug now and then, and especially over this birthday weekend when we had so many plans. I wanted to be 100% focused on the people around me and the events taking place. Are you making a fresh start in 2018? In what way? Are you planning to take time to unplug from the Internet at all? Email me about your plans or comment below. Thanks!
This video is about the power of communication--in any relationship. It helps clear up misunderstandings, avoid jealousy, and ease any manner of tension. Do your best to speak calmly with others, listen intently as they speak, don't attack or blame, don't freak out. Settle arguments maturely and fairly. Do you fight fair or do you blame? Do you listen, really listen, when someone communicates with you?
Hey there! This is a video I recorded yesterday. It's on taking your time in making new friends, and also while dealing with health issues. Be good to yourself, be patient, do what you need to do to make friends you feel comfortable with, that you click with. And take the downtime you need to recover if you're dealing with surgery or other health issues. I give a tip on how to cope during downtimes that I hope will help you through them. Do you find that you take your time during the friendship making process or chronic health issues that come up? Or, do you complain, become anxious, get depressed if things get in the way of you doing what you want to do, when? If progress is slow? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Contact me at acnlifecoach.com or post comments below. Thanks!
Hi! Happy New Year! I hope you all had a great holiday season, lots of fun, time spent with those you love most, and maybe even some down time to rest and reflect. Ours was crazy busy. I'll talk about it a bit in the video. The video has a lot about the year of us which my husband and I are committing to. More alone time, doing things on our own, making conscious decisions to do things we haven't done in awhile--that sort of things. We miss that. We love our friends and will continue to spend time with them, but we will have more me time and alone time together. I also talk about having a simpler Christmas this year. It was way too crazy, way too busy, way too hectic. We need to tone it down. What about your holidays? Did you enjoy them? Were they too quiet, too crazy, just right? Let me know. Take care.
Hello! I recorded this post a few days ago, but with the crazy busy Christmas prep and activities, plus physical therapy, etc., etc., etc., I didn't get to post it until today. Sorry! What do you base your preferences on? Quality? How much it costs? Economy? Reliability? Skill? Friendliness? Do you go for high-end restaurants, stores, clothing, hotels or economical ones? Or do your preferences fall somewhere in the middle? Are your preferences different depending on what you are considering? I talk about this in the video above and give you examples of how I pick doctors, mechanics, clothes, and so on. Have a Merry Christmas! And, I will see you back here next Wednesday! Wheeee!
Hello! I'm a bit late with this one. Busy with Christmas shopping and preparations and parties and such. But I'm here now! :-) Today's vlog is about friendship and clubs. When I have asked people who are interested in making new friends if they would consider joining a club, they often say they aren't into them. Clubs can be a great way to make new friends, so it is something I urge people to consider. After all, we often hang out with people who have similar interests. That's a club of sorts, albeit an informal one. Why not try a more formal one? Some people don't want to pay dues, have regularly scheduled meetings, and strict rules. Okay, that is understandable. But, what about starting your own club? Then you could make your own rules and invite or accept the people you feel most comfortable with. I realize that for those of us who are introverted, it can be difficult to get out there and meet new people. Start slow, say hello to a neighbor, have dinner with someone from work, take a class, and yes, join clubs that interest you. I would love to hear about your experiences making new friends; especially those of you who are introverts like me. Email me anytime at amy@acnlifecoach.com or comment below. Thanks. Take care.
