Don't Be Afraid to Travel: Prepare, Relax, Have Fun, and Be Well

Nyhavn, Copenhagen, Denmark, May 2017

Hello!  I'm so excited to be back!  Jim and I went on an amazing vacation to Denmark to visit Naja, who we hosted when she was an exchange student during the 2015-2016 school year in Utah.  

Of course, it was incredible.  The weather was great, we saw so many beautiful sights, met some awesome people, hopped over to Sweden, where my mom's family was from, for a short visit which was a thrill, and I didn't get sick or hurt.  I repeat, I did not get sick or hurt!  I didn't even fall.  That was freakin' amazing!  It was pretty perfect.  Ah well, my knee hurt the whole time, but other than that, yeah, it was pretty perfect.

Then why did I spend the better part of the previous six months before the trip worrying about it? Ah, this is my nature.  A little gift of the genes that my dad gave me.  I have always worried about what might happen on a trip, especially one to another country.  In particular, I worry that I might get sick on the food and water.  I've gotten sick on the water in different perfectly decent countries in the past, so I was again fearful of that happening.  To try to ease my anxiety, I sent an email to Naja's mother letting her know what foods bothered my sensitive system.  And I drank bottled water throughout most of the trip.    

I think I worried just as much about having to spend so much time on health maintenance, and not being able to keep up with everyone while out and about sight-seeing.  I guess that wasn't so much a cause for worry as it was one of frustration.  These feet and short legs can only go so fast.  And, there were always medicine schedules to keep and medical mumbo jumbo to take care of, so I was off doing that instead of relaxing and visiting.  Of course, I visited, but I felt like I was pulled away from conversations too often.  

Also, I found myself managing my day in my head.  While Jim was care-free and getting deep into conversation about certain landmarks and customs, I was thinking, "I wonder if there's a bathroom around here?" or "I wonder where we will eat and will I be able to eat the food?"  or "I'm getting really low on water and I need to take my meds soon.  Must look for water."  Oh, it's annoying! 

I also spent time worrying that I would be a nuisance, having to stop for bathroom breaks maybe a bit more often than others, having to take breaks to rest my feet maybe more than others, or having to take my medication way before mealtime and, whups, I forgot. But, really, everyone was patient, kind, and understanding.  I was able to do everything I needed to do, and found everything I needed without much fuss  I went my own speed most of the time while walking around, and Jim stayed with me so I wouldn't be the only one at the back of the pack.  Ha!  Naja's mother had gotten some of the food items I needed before we even arrived, as well.  I had nothing to worry about.  

I have heard the saying that if you are nervous about doing something, it's a sign that you should do it.  That very thing you fear most could bring significant growth, boosted confidence, and feelings of accomplishment, if tackled.  

So from now on, I will face trips with this attitude and mindset:  Prepare, be confident, have fun, and be well.    

How do you handle traveling with heath issues?  Do you freak out, thinking of everything that could go wrong?  Or do you consider it an exciting opportunity and just take snags in stride as they come along?  I'd love to hear from you.  

Vlog: Life Coaching Specialties, Part 1 or 2

Hi again!  I'm trying something a little bit different this time, posting a vlog.  This is the first of two parts, featuring a review of the types of clients I serve.  I start off here with special needs/abilities coaching.  I'd love your feedback on the information itself as well as the visual quality. If you would like to hear more information about my coaching, please feel free to contact me via email at  amy@acnlifecoach.com.  Also, visit my website at www.acnlifecoach.com.  Take care.

Making Choices: It's Been Awhile, but I'm Back

Whoa!  It's been awhile since I've posted here.  It's been a trying, confusing, exciting, and rewarding couple of years.  Here's what happened, in a nutshell.
---- Do you get the feeling that you've hit on something really special?  You've finally found your calling?  But then, life happens?  That calling comes and you're raring to go and then---boom!  One thing after another comes along and delays that jump full force into this project, this thing, this life that you have been waiting for.  I spent two years consumed with other things, not blogging or coaching.  There were times when I longed to blog, but as I got further and further away from it, it was harder to get back to it.  Now I wish I had documented the events of those two years.  It would have been fun and also educational to look back on them.  It was a time of growth and adventure that I won't forget.

In August of 2015, our high school exchange student, Naja, arrived from Denmark to stay with us for the 2015-16 school year.  At first, I made time for blogging.  One post in early August of that year, then another in early September.  Then...nothing.  I made a conscious choice to concentrate on our exchange year experience, not on business or blogging.  I wanted to dive in and fully experience those 10 months, not be absent.  Live it, breathe it, feel it deeply.  Every part of it.

I understand where people are coming from when they are torn.  I love writing.  I love life coaching.  My business had already been put on the back burner shortly after getting my life coach certification the previous year when my mother came to stay with us for a bit.  She had had a stroke at the beginning of 2014 and could no longer live alone.  She lived with my sister at the time, but that sister needed to have surgery.  She asked if we (my husband and me) could take care of Mom for a couple of months while she recovered, which we did.  Although it was heartbreaking to see the changes the stroke had caused in Mom, we had a lot of fun during her visit:  reminiscing, going out for ice cream, hiking, playing games, and painting.

But we went ahead with hosting Naja.  We needed to go for what felt right in our guts, and this felt right.  

I dove into the role of host parent.  I drove Naja to and from school daily, braved the throngs of teen drivers navigating the streets near the school, and thanked my lucky stars each time I arrived home in one piece.  I have never been particularly fond of driving, but it was a whole different ball game with a 16-year-old riding with me.  That bumped up the pressure of responsibility just a tad.  It was one thing to drive myself around, but to be responsible for a teen, besides; someone else's child?  Yow!  Her parents had consented to allow their daughter to travel across the world to live with us, trusting us to keep her safe and well for 10 months.  I nearly broke out in hives the first day of school. 

Life seemed to go 110 miles an hour once Naja joined us and settled in.  We took her to many of the parks and sites in Utah, where we live, and the surrounding area.  She made lots of amazing friends, so there were often other teens coming and going, or we were driving her to a friend's house or school event.  It was: go, go, go for 10 months.  We had a blast!  

Then, it was over.  Her parents came in May of 2016 and stayed with us for 10 days.  We had so much fun.  They are lovely people and the time went so fast.  We didn't want it to end.  But it was time.  When we waved goodbye to them at the airport, we didn't quite know what to do.  We stood in the terminal kind of shell shocked for a bit. The fact that the year was over brought on both feelings of sadness and, admittedly, relief.  Naja was fantastic.  She was intelligent, witty, sweet, never got into trouble--no problem.  But we don't have children of our own, so when Naja arrived we were instantly responsible for a teen.  We didn't have 16 years to get ready for this exciting and challenging time in her life, as parents who raise a child from birth do.  So we were in a whole different world and learning as we went along.  It was very challenging and stressful at times.  So when she left there was that relief of not having the huge responsibility for her.  That said, it also was one of the most rewarding, exciting, and fun experiences we've had.

Before Naja left, I had all sorts of plans of what to do when the exchange year was over.  I was going to start my coaching business, join a local book club as well as a social club, write for online publications, volunteer all over the community, blog, and so on.  But I hadn't realized how tired I was.  Instead of jumping into all these activities, I slept.  And slept, and slept.  And when I was awake I just kind of went about daily chores as if on auto pilot.  Life was so different!  The house felt empty and was so quiet.  

I lost feeling for all things.  A wall went up around me.  I had a feeling of total disorganization and ineptitude that left me seemingly frozen in place.  I couldn't seem to get myself out of this funk.  For someone who had always prided herself on being organized, I was a mess.  I didn't know which end was up, I didn't know what to do.  I couldn't seem to get enthused about anything that I had, not that long before, been excited about.  I didn't join any clubs, I didn't exercise much, I didn't volunteer, I didn't write, I didn't coach.  It was bizarre.

It didn't help matters that I had bouts with sickness (colds, flu), foot, knee and shoulder trouble (old injuries that came back to haunt me), and as a result, weight gain.  I also had more time to think about Mom once Naja left.  She was so different after the stroke.  She still had that beautiful smile and positive attitude, but part of the old Mom was gone.  She couldn't do a lot of the things she used to love to do:  garden, read, hike.  She was always very active.  Seriously, she could out-walk anyone half her age, even in her 80s.  And we used to talk for hours on the phone, whereas 5- to 10-minute calls were now the norm.  I sort of felt abandoned and lost without my mom.  

I've worked through these feelings and problems.  I've done a lot of thinking; looking inside. I've done a lot of reading on the topic of parent illness, dementia, getting organized, life change, and parent loss.  I've gained comfort from my husband and dear friends.  It still frustrates me at times, but I know that I'm stronger for these experiences.

And now, I'm back.  I'm looking forward to blogging again on a regular basis--I'm planning on blogging once a week to start.  

Have you had to put something on the back burner that you were excited about to do something else that was important as well?  Comment below, or send me an email at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  I'd love to hear from you. 

You Forgot to Grow

I'm back after a bit of a break.  We welcomed Naja, a Danish high school student we are hosting this school year, on August 4, so we took some time off to get acquainted and show her around the area a bit.  We braved the Grand Canyon in the pouring rain, although the sun came out long enough for us to enjoy our picnic lunch outside under a canopy of pine trees.  Checked out a bit of Zion National Park, as well as the desert landscape of neighboring Nevada and Arizona.  Went to a birthday BBQ over the weekend, and, of course, ate a bit of  ice cream too.  :-)    We have so many ice cream places in our area!  The first year we were here (2007), we tried every single one of them to see which were our favorites.  Yum.  :-)  Naja also made us a delicious Danish meal last night.  

It's been a busy, fun week.  She is a lovely girl.  We have had a very nice time.  I think this will be a great adventure for us all.

Now, on to the subject of today's post...

Earlier in the week, Jim and I were at the grocery store, when a lady came up to me and joked, "You forgot to grow!  Bet you have never heard that before."

I was a bit confused at first, but then laughed it off.  I've been laughing this type of comment off for decades.

But it bugged me.  It hit me the wrong way.   Yes, I am short.  I get it.  But, come on folks, yes I've heard it before.  Many times.  You know I must have.  Sooo....

Cut it out!

It's not cute anymore.  It's not funny. 

I am who I am.  This woman is who she is.  Enough said.  Leave it alone and move on.

I'll probably keep laughing it off, being a good sport.  But my message to you is, be sensitive to others.  Chances are, if someone is short, they have already heard every short joke in the book.  Same for tall folks, heavy foks, people with big noses, bushy beards, unique gaits or birth marks, unusual accents or first or last names, and so on.  If they bring the subject up, okay, fine.  But leave it alone otherwise, especially if you don't know the person well.  

Is there something that people are always bringing up to you; that they won't let die? Something that you're tired of?  If so, how do you handle it?  

Memory of a Thunderstorm

My reaction to Florida thunderstorm--August 21, 1993.
Originally from a video.  Sorry about the poor quality.

Ever since I can remember, I have not liked thunderstorms.  No, let me rephrase that.  I have always been petrified of thunderstorms.  When I was a kid, I laid on the couch with my head covered in pillows whenever a thunderstorm came along.  Even with a house full of people all around me!  

My most harrowing experience with a thunderstorm came when we lived in Orlando, Florida in the early 1990s.  Jim and I decided to take a walk at one of our favorite nature centers (Osceola County Schools).  It was near Kissimmee.  There were boardwalks meadering through lush tropical vegetation.  By the time we got there, the clouds in the sky were that bluish grey that always means trouble is coming.  I even heard a rumble of thunder in the distance.  But Jim convinced me we had time for a walk.

Ha!  We got halfway down the path when the heavens open up.  The rain poured down and the thunder was deafening.  I totally panicked.  I wanted to turn around, but Jim said it was too far to walk back to the car.  We'd have to find some sort of shelter where we could wait out the storm.

We came across a covered overlook by a pond.  No sides, just a roof and support beams.  Oh lovely.  And we were right on the water, one of the worst places to be in the thunderstorm.

I sat on a bench there, covering my ears and praying that I wouldn't be hit by lightning, while Jim delighted in taking videos of the storm.  Jim loves thunderstorms.  He finds them fascinating.  I...do not.  I find them dangerous and frightening.  Whenever there is even a hint of a storm on the horizon, my heart pounds, I start sweating, I unplug electrical appliances, shut windows, and run for cover.  Well, I couldn't do that out in the middle of the park.  So, I just sat there with my eyes closed and feared the worst.  

The rain pelted the usually serene pond, as the wind howled through the trees, and the thunder reverberated off the roof overhead.  Lightning bolts hit all around us.  I was in hell.  I willed the storm to stop, just stop, but it went on for at least an hour. 

And we survived it.  Ahhh!  Relief!

I got my fear of thunderstorms from my dad.  As he was milking cows in the barn on the family farm as a youngster, the barn was hit by lightning, electrocuting the cow he was tending to at the time.  The cow fell on top of him.  For the rest of his life, my dad was also petrified of thunderstorms.  He was a workaholic, but he would not milk the cows if it was storming.  Everyone stayed safely in the house until the storm blew over.

I've gotten better at dealing with storms over the years.  I still do not like them one bit, but I no longer cover my head with pillows at the first sign of a "thunder boomer."  I go about my business, for the most part, but stay inside.  Jim heads for the windows, and sometimes outside, to check out the sky, the clouds, the wonder of the storm.

Thunderstorms are a part of life during the spring and summer months.  We just have to deal with them.  Don't let them take the fun out of life.  If thunderstorms leave you paralyzed with fear, you might want seek help from a qualified professional to get some relief.  

So, do you love thunderstorms or hate them?  Do you spend time worrying about them or looking forward to them all winter?  Have you ever gotten caught in one?  I'd love to hear about your adventure.