Guest Blogger: Lauren (Lo) Najar

I'm pleased to welcome guest blogger, Lauren (Lo) Najar, to share her battle with cancer and how she used laughter to win that battle--twice.  

"The best thing you can do is master the chaos within you.  

You are not thrown into the fire, YOU ARE THE FIRE" – Mama Indigo

I am a cancer survivor (still sounds odd to me).  I am coming up on the five year mark (woo no more “pre-existing condition") and I couldn’t be more anxious or excited.  These anniversaries are celebrated the same, if not more, than my real birthdays.  Life began again for me on January 14th, 2013.

In May 2011, when I was 23, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I received this news on my way to work in my car alone.  Within an hour, I was meeting with my mom’s previous oncologist, going to the clinic she once used to go through more tests.  My brother and sister met me there, who were both very upset (understandably).  My parents at this point were both deceased previously and their deaths were recent.  We couldn’t find the light at the end of the tunnel at this point.  Nothing seemed to be going right.  The only thing I wanted to do was become a hermit, answer phone calls from doctors when I had to, and the least of all was to face anyone else than my closest friends.  I couldn’t even call my family to let them know what was going on--my siblings and boyfriend did this for me.  I was the oldest in my family, and ever since my parents left, I felt the need to be in charge or to hold the house together.  My sister and I are close in age, however I still had the feeling that I needed to do this because I am the oldest.  I totally leaned on people this first weekend.  I felt so alone; no one could understand what I was going through. 

Eight months of chemo and radiation went by and I was soon in remission.  Chemo was difficult as the certain drugs gave me bad side effects, however I was able to complete it in the time table allotted.  I told my friends and family that I was free of any treatment and didn’t need anything else and we had small celebrations.  I was starting up my routine checkups and my oncologist spotted something in my lungs on one of my scans.  I was soon back going through a new round of tests as my cancer had come back.  I was sent to a new hospital, and had a new oncologist.  I was going through the same old regimen, and none of these tests were foreign to me anymore unfortunately.  My next set of treatment was going to be three rounds of chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow transplant (sounds scary right?!)  I had absolutely no idea what I was going to be going through or how these different drugs would have an effect on me.

My bone marrow transplant was the hardest part for me.  I spent three weeks in the hospital (this is a normal time frame for someone), however I was in a hospital that was not exactly local in my town.  I spent a lot of days alone as I didn’t have parents that were able to stay with me and my siblings all had jobs/school that they had to keep up as well.  Some days I wasn’t feeling well and the loneliness of it all was what I needed.  I had a lot of time to reflect and to think of what I wanted my life to be like after all is said and done.  I had an enormous support group, which some days I shut out as no one was there to answer questions for me such as “When are you coming home?,” “How are you feeling?”.  A girl can only answer those questions so many times and at times it was difficult to always keep someone in the loop.

I signed up for running races in the hospital, and planned a cancer remission party for the summer time when I was going to be healthy again.  I needed to focus on living life again.  I was so done with life being miserable, that you HAVE to make the best of it.  There isn’t an option.  Life is meant to be lived and sitting around focusing on all of the bad things in your life is the absolute worst thing you can do mentally.  I am incredibly lucky that I had such a great support group coming out of this second battle that life has been especially amazing becoming closer with friends and family.  It’s not easy making fun of your bald head, your treatments, and everything else by yourself!  (Try dancing to “I whip my hair back and forth” when you completely don’t have any…that is a good laugh J)

Everyone knows that chemo and radiation have long term effects.  On paper, I am a healthy and active 30 (!!) year old now.  I do not have any pain issues or any other issues from chemo or radiation.  However, I probably see enough doctors still to make sure that nothing is going to relapse and that all of my body parts and organs are still going to be working.  One thing that I was diagnosed with back in 2015 was Hypothyroidism.  This is the slowing of your thyroid function and likely caused by the radiation I received in 2011.  I have always been a consistent weight my entire life, even through chemotherapy.  As I was in remission, I gained ten pounds and it wasn’t because my lifestyle changed drastically or my eating habits.  I tried to up my workout regimen and started focusing more on my eating and I just wasn’t losing any weight.  This was caused by my thyroid no longer working as well as it did and it was more than 3 times the amount it should be at.  My heaviest was at 30+ pounds of my normal weight as well as my blood pressure increasing and my cholesterol was high.  With focusing more on what I eat and working out consistently as well as getting my thyroid medicine regulated, I am losing weight, but slowly.  I was never a person to worry about weight or body image, however because of this I am very self-conscious now because of the new weight gain.

The best advice that I can give from this is you need to learn to live with it.  I will not be as thin as I was before, and that is okay.  Am I healthy now?  Essentially yes.  Can I eat whatever I want like before?  No, but that is a good thing.  I need to eat better and I need to find foods that work better for my body.  I know my body now more than ever and I love how much I have learned about it.  I am thankful for this experience and now for this chronic side effect because it makes me truly watch what I eat.  I am getting older as well, and for everything that my body has endured thus far, I really need to focus on prolonging life and making sure I am trying to be as healthy as I can be (I do love chicken wings though).

There is something to be said about when life gets tough; you need to laugh.  You need to find the humor in how SILLY it is that these bad things happen.  How are these things happening to me?  You can’t dwell on it and try to make jokes either about yourself or the situation.  I did both and there was just nothing that I could have done.  All you can do is laugh and live through life! 

____

I am Lauren (Lo) Najar and I live in Chicago, IL.  I am an active person--I enjoy running races, yoga and any kind of healthy activity.  I am the founder of Laugh Always.  Laugh Always was created to inspire others on their personal journeys and to bring a community together to share their inspiration from all walks of life.

Social media links -
laughalways.net
Instagram.com/laughalwayswithlo

Facebook.com/laughalwayswithlo

Take Time to Let Loose and Have Fun

I was on Facebook Live this afternoon.  My phone isn't keeping a charge, so I'm coming to you from Facebook Live.  Here's the link to my Facebook page.  Scoot down to today's post (August 7, 2017) and check it out.  It's all about letting loose and having fun.  Let me know what you think.   Thanks.   https://www.facebook.com/acnlifecoach/

Attitude Is Everything

Your attitude is how you view your life.  You get to choose your attitude.  It's not a done deal that is pre-programmed within you from the start.  It is learned, and it is everything.

How you perceive your life has a huge effect on how you live it, how you behave, how you react to different people, how you work, the chances you take, how you handle crises, the people you meet and relate to, the opportunities you take advantage of and those you let pass by.  Everything!  

For those of you who have chronic health issues, a positive attitude can make the difference on how fast you heal.  If you mope around and complain and refuse to do what the doctor tells you to, then you'll most likely be faced with a longer recovery period, and you might just shoot yourself in the foot and not recover at all.  But if you try to find the positive in any given situation, there's a good chance that you'll come through your health crises much faster and healthier. 

I've gone through periods in my life when I didn't have confidence in my abilities.  I would shy away from jobs I could very well have done, just because I was scared to try, or didn't want to drive in that particular area of town.  

I've also dragged my feet, putting off important decisions until it was too late because I didn't have confidence in my abilities.  I've given up too soon on jobs, educational opportunities, community involvement opportunities, and relationships.  I've also hung on to jobs, ideas, and relationships way too long because I had an unhealthy attitude about them.

But it doesn't have to be like this.  Commit to an attitude adjustment and you'll notice a huge difference in how your life plays out.  

Ways To Improve Your Attitude

1.  Discover your "why:"  Why do you want to change your attitude?  Have you been ridiculed, lost friends, or missed out on important opportunities because of it?  Or, do you feel it just doesn't serve a valuable purpose in your life anymore?

2.  Daydream:  Use daydreaming to practice conversations with others.  Role play them to see if you can come up with more positive ways to communicate: use upbeat tones, smile when talking, use positive, non-judgmental words, practice good listening skills, and so on.  You could even role play with a close friend and ask for feedback as an alternative to daydreaming.

3.  Wake Up Grateful:  Practice waking up grateful for all the good in your life.  There are days when this will be difficult, but stick to it and see what a difference it makes in your attitude.  Starting your day on a positive note can spill over to the rest of the day and make it awesome.

4.  Be Enthusiastic:  Find the good in any situation.  Tackle each problem with curiosity and enthusiasm.  Of course, not everything is going to warrant enthusiasm, but make a point to infuse your attitude with enthusiasm as much as possible.

5.  Take Time For Yourself:  Get away from the craziness of life often to just be.  Be quiet, be contemplative, be you.  Connect with your inner self and really listen to it.  What is truly important to you?  What do you need to let go?  What do you want to do with your life?  What makes your heart sing?  Answer those questions and then go out and do those things, find true happiness.

6.  Laugh!:  Humor is a great tool to change your attitude and get you through tough times.  Try to infuse your conversations with humor.  You don't have to joke all the time--that's annoying--but now and then break out the funny in you to lighten the mood and give your attitude a jolt of positive energy.  Learn to find something funny in your situation.  Learn to laugh at yourself and with others over silly things that happen at the clinic or hospital.  I remember one time when I was at the doctor's office for a pre-op physical; I was pretty nervous as I was headed for major surgery.  The doctor came into the exam room where I was waiting for him and said, with a totally straight face, "So, are you scared poopless?"  I had to do a double-take to make sure this was actually my usual conservative, quiet doctor.  Yep, it was him.  I had to smile.  He came through for me when I really needed him.  Through pre-op, the hospital stay and recovery, every time I thought of what he had said that day in his office, I had to smile or giggle.  And that was the perfect medicine to help me get through that difficult ordeal.  Kudos to him!

7.  Move!:  No, you don't have to move away, although that could be what you need.  That's your call.  But definitely, move your body.  It was meant to move, not be stuck in front of the TV or computer for hours on end.  Find activities you enjoy doing and get out and do them most days of the week.  Running, walking, tennis, cycling, team sports, swimming, lifting weights, wheelchair dancing, dancing, paralympics, and so on.  It's all good.  Choose a variety so you don't get bored.  Ask your friends and family to join you as well.  Having a workout partner helps keep it fun and helps keep you accountable.

It is important to find a balance in life, so you take the opportunities that are presented to you, have a healthy attitude about them, give them a good go, let the unhealthy situations and relationships go, and cherish the ones that turn out to be magical, or at least pretty darn cool.

I welcome your comments.  I'd love to hear how you have made attitude adjustments and how your life changed as a result.  

Oh, For Laughing Out Loud!

I am a fan of Loretta LaRoche.  Recently she wrote a piece on laughter.  She noted that laughter has many mental and physical benefits, and that it has gotten her through health issues.  I agree whole-heartedly.  

I've spent a good deal of time in the hospital and doctors' offices throughout my life due to spina bifida.  I've relied on laughter to get me through some tough spots.  I've found that, although hospital stays, surgeries, and doctors' visits can be frustrating and frightening, I can always find something to laugh about.  Whether it's mistaking a cervix for a hemorrhoid, a roommate having a facelift in order to look good for Bingo, or a surprisingly funny remark from a doctor, they take the edge off very uncomfortable circumstances.  It helps to laugh through struggles.  

I was particularly taken off guard by a beloved doctor who was quite conservative.  I was at his office for a pre-surgery physical.  When he walked in, he said, "So, are you scared poopless?"  I never thought I'd hear him say something like that.  After I picked my chin off the floor, I started laughing.  And, I remembered his remark throughout the whole process of blood work, pre-op, post-op, and recovery.  Every time I thought of it, I laughed.  And I recovered quite fast despite it being quite a major surgery.  Another of my doctor's told me later that his doing that surgery was a gutsy move.  But he did it for me; to improve my quality of life, and he helped me through it by making me laugh.  A top notch doctor with a heart of gold, and a sense of humor I had never seen until it was really needed.  Kudos to him, and all the other doctors out there who drop their guard a bit to show their human sides in order to help their patients through difficult situations.  I think it helps more than all the medication and surgeries just to know that the doctor truly cares about me.  It boosts my spirits when they drop their guard and helps me have more confidence in them.  And, I believe my confidence in them helps them do what needs to be done to help me.  It's a two-way street.  

Okay, so the next time you are heading to surgery, or you're facing some other difficult situation, I want you to dig deep inside and find something funny about it.  Purposely look for anything--big or small--that could be considered comical about the current fix you've found yourself in.  Can't possibly find anything amusing about such a scary, frustrating or just plain stupid circumstance?  Then fake it!  That still provides benefits.  Force yourself to giggle.  Try it.  Just a little bit at first.  Then increase it over time, finding any excuse to giggle.  Go for it--for health!

Now I'd like to hear how laughter has helped you through tough situations, medical or otherwise.  Post comments below, or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  I can't wait to read how you've benefited from laughter.  

Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much,

Amy :-)