Vlog: When Someone Believes In You

When someone believes in you:  What does that do for you?

• Helps you believe in yourself
• Fosters confidence building
• Builds self-respect
• Offers you hope
• Spurs you to seek out opportunities of self-fulfillment
• Gives you energy

Maybe you feel different, angry, nervous, or insecure.  Can you imagine what someone's belief in you would do for you?  Wow!  It could be life-changing.

But also, dig deep to find belief in yourself.

• You have to believe in yourself in order for your dreams to come true and your life to be fulfilling.
• Nobody can give that to you.  They can believe in you, but if that belief doesn't transfer to you, it won't do you any good.
• And you need to be ready to receive that belief and run with it and use it for good.

Do you have someone in your life who believes in you?  What has that done for your confidence, your self-respect, your productivity?

Who has believed in you?  A teacher, a parent, a spouse?  Maybe a friend, a member of the clergy, a boss?  Could be a doctor, nurse, therapist, a coach.  Who was it in your case?  I'd love to hear about them.

Vlog: Believe

I've been discussing my motto:  Dream.  Imagine.  Believe.  Achieve.  I've talked about dream and imagine.  Today, it's believe.  

The definition of "believe" is "to accept or regard as something that's true."  

So, how can believing help you get unstuck and go for your goals?

Well, you can start acting as if you already have it, made it, did it.  Your dream has come true.  Don't throw your money around just because you imagine yourself as a millionaire or successful businessperson.  That could get you into a lot of trouble.  You need to pay the rent, you need to act responsibly.  But you can visualize yourself as being successful.  You can believe that it will happen.  

Why is belief important?

• If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will.  And you may need people's help to follow your dreams.
• Belief breeds confidence that you need when t  The road gets rough.  You'll most likely face barriers along the way toward your dreams, but with confidence, you can overcome them.  You need belief for that.
• If you've seen others do something you know it can be done.  To believe that you can do it is key to doing it yourself.
• Belief inspires you to take action.  You know you can do it so let's get going.  And you won't give up until you succeed.
• It helps you form a positive attitude.  Attitude is everything when going for your goals.  You need to have a positive attitude to accomplish anything.  To achieve anything.  

Achieve is the final portion of my motto.  Dreaming, imagining, and believing can lead to achievement.  

• You may fail repeatedly but belief keeps you going, trying again.  You know this is what you are meant to do.  Help people, for example.  That was me.  I've tried lots of stuff--I wanted to be a psychologist and play therapist.  I didn't do it.  But, years later, I've found coaching.  I've always wanted to help people, ever since I was very young.  Nothing else clicked, but coaching did.  And tutoring English as well as an off-shoot.  I am helping people.  It doesn't matter that I didn't go for the masters and doctorate.  It matters that I kept looking for what was right for me; the way in which I could help people best.   And, I've found it.  It took awhile, but I found it.  And that's okay.  Your true self--your true calling--may take awhile to come forth, but it will.  Give it time.  Then work for it, embrace it, love it, enjoy it.

What are your dreams?  Do you believe in yourself and your ability to achieve them?  

Vlog: Medication Advertisements: Helpful...Or Not?

Hi there, all!  I hope you're having a good weekend so far.  

Medication advertisements with every symptom and side effect known to man.  Do you find this helpful or frightening, or unnecessary?

Let's look at the topic more closely:

The positives:  They give you lots of information about the medication, so you then can decide from there whether or not you want to contact your doctor about it.

The negatives:  They tell you all this stuff that may turn you off from even asking your doctor about it, or considering taking it for something it could really people alleviate.

What would be better?:  

• Talk to your doctor or pharmacist to get information on the advertised medication.
• Leave out the side effects and such from the advertisement and leave it to your doctor to tell you that information specific to your situation.
• Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about any medication you have questions about before taking it.
• Consider natural medicine:  Combine it with modern medicine, massage, herbs, acupressure, acupuncture, energy medicine/therapy, hypnosis, meditation, and more.

Please don't:

• take any new medication without first consulting a qualified healthcare professional.  
• take others' medication that was not prescribed to you.
• take medication in the amount other than the recommended dosage.
• keep taking a medication if you experience troubling side effects.  Call your doctor or pharmacist, call 9-1-1, or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
• take medications you are unsure of.  You know your body better than anyone else.  Listen to it.  Work with your doctors to find the best treatment for your health issues.

What do you think of medication advertisements?  Have you ever asked your doctor about a medication you found out about through an advertisement?  

Interviewed on A Healing Spirit.org! Thank you Carol!

I had the honor and pleasure of being interviewed by Carol Cassara, Hypnotherapist and Healing Arts Advocate, for her blog on A Healing Spirit.org.  Please check it out.  I'd love your thoughts on the interview and encourage you to check out Carol's other posts and services to see if they are a good fit for you.  I'm a big fan of Carol's and enjoy her blog immensely.   She offers lots of insight into many different topics relating to friendship, spirituality, politics, health, lifestyle, wellness, family, and more. This is not a paid post. I'm not affiliated with Carol Cassara in any professional or commercial way other than as a fellow coach who admires her work.    

https://www.ahealingspirit.org/2018/05/17/permanent-disability/

Vlog: Being Told You're An Inspiration

Have you been told you're an inspiration?  What was the reason?  Did they give you any specifics as to why they thought you were inspirational?  

And, how did you feel about it?  How did you respond?  Did it inspire you to do more for others?  More for yourself?  Did it help you break out of your comfort zone and try something new?  Did it inspire you to become a speaker, letting other people know about your chronic health issues; to become an advocate for others?

Or, did you feel like a fraud?  They were inspired by you but you may feel as if you really haven't lived up to it.  You are unsure of yourself, you're self-conscious, perhaps.  Insecure.

What do you do with this?  How can being called an inspiration change that negativity in you to positivity?  How can it energize you?

When someone calls you an inspiration, what should you say?  Well, here are some ideas:

• Simply say "Thank You."
• Ask the person how you inspire them
• Tell the person how they inspire you.

How can you use your inspiration?

• Speak about it at local organizations, schools, hospitals, health fairs
• Do volunteer work at hospitals, schools, shelters, community events, health fairs
• Help others with similar health issues to cope, improve their situation, and be inspired.
• Write about it in a blog or book
• Write a column for your local newspaper on coping with health issues
• Contact the association connected to your chronic health issues to see if you could write articles for their newsletter or magazine.

Any other ideas?  I'd love to hear from you!  And, please share your experiences with this topic.  Have you been told you're an inspiration?  How did you react?  Positively?  Negatively?  Let's talk about this.  

Vlog: Sitting On Symptoms

Hi!  I hope you had a nice Easter yesterday.  How was it?  Ours was quiet.  Just the two of us this year.

Yesterday also was April Fool's Day.  We didn't play any pranks on each other, though.  How about you?  Did anyone play a prank on you;  did you play a prank on someone else?

Has humor helped you handle your health issues?  If so, how?  I have always tried to find the funny in hospital stays, doctor's visits, life in general.  I have to admit, although I do have a sense of humor and like to find the funny in chronic health issues, I do tend to be serious.  Slapstick, juvenile humor and the like just annoy me.  I love poker-faced humor and great comedic timing.  

Something else I want to talk about today is sitting on symptoms.  You have mysterious symptoms.  Or maybe symptoms that you've had before.  You know what's going on in your gut.  You may think, "Oh no, not again."

Yet, you don't take action.  You don't do anything about it, whether it's mysterious or it's happened before.  

You get more and more nervous, grouchy, tired.  The more that happens the worse the situation gets.

You may try to solve the problem on your own.  Try what worked before, perhaps.  Eat differently.  Take vitamins.  Get more sleep.  But it doesn't work.

I've been there.

So, what should you do?

• Take time out to see your doctor.  I don't care how busy you are with work, home, school, kids....get to your doctor.
• Take time to rest
• Take your medications on schedule.  If you haven't been diligent about that, it could be messing with your system.  
• Be good to yourself.  If you make a mistake, if you haven't had the problem checked out, don't beat yourself up about it.  We all mess up sometimes.  Concentrate on now.  Not what you've done in the past; what you're doing now.  Take care of the issue now.  Be good to yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Take positive action.
• Find the answers.  Finding the answers could help you feel better and able to live your life more fully, healthfully, happily.  You could be living a more fulfilling life.  
• Get on it!

Vlog: Wellness

The definition of wellness according to The World Health Organization is, "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."

What can you do to increase your wellness, your well-being?  Here are some ideas:

• be honest with yourself and others--if your friends can't understand your having to cancel plans, if your spouse resents your medical costs, if you just can't take your boss's attitude anymore, consider ending those relationships and finding new, more supportive ones.  Look inside and really think about it first, though.  Do what feels right for you and your health and well-being.
• be you--with no apologies!  You don't have to be rude to be real.  Just simply be yourself!
• keep up with your health maintenance--you need your health is thrive!
• maintain healthy relationships with your family, friends, coworkers, boss--everyone in your life--surround yourself with positive, supportive people who "get" you and challenge you in a good way.  They are your cheering section and have your back at all times.
• get regular wellness exams--super important!
• think outside the box:  Yes!  Explore, do stuff your own way, be different, celebrate new ideas and ways of doing things
• be creative--Yes!  Creative, expand your world, again, think of new ideas, refreshing ideas that make your heart sing, get involved in projects that you can disappear into, that you love!
• challenge yourself--Yes!  A good challenge is amazing to spark a sense of well-being!  You can do anything you set your mind to!
• expand your mind--think, learn, grow, experience different things, be open to different experiences!
• live by your values--be true to yourself and what you believe in!
• help out in your community--volunteer, make speeches, do outreach, spread awareness
• make a difference in a person's life--this can be big, small, somewhere in the middle.  Anything and everything counts and could make a huge impact on that person's life!
• care for your environment--your immediate environment at home, your town, your state, your country, the world.  That's up to you.  To make a difference is a great way to boost wellness!
• get good sleep--getting those zzzz's can make a huge difference in how you view your life and well-being!
• exercise regularly--Move!  Yes, keep moving and getting strong and boosting your mood and increasing flexibility!  There are so many benefits to regular exercise!  Do what you can.  There are all levels of exercises.  Pick the fun and doable ones, but also remember to keep challenging yourself as they become easier.
• eat healthfully--Yes!  Definitely eat healthy foods.  That doesn't mean you have to nix your favorite snacks.  Just make healthy eat a priority and have those treats now and then.

These are just some of the ways you can increase wellness.  Can you think of others?

I'd also like to talk about an article I read that I absolutely freakin' love!  It's called "Can Disability, Chronic Conditions, Health and Wellness Coexist?" by June Issaacson Kailes, MSW and LCSW.  It appears on the National Center on Health, Physical Activity and Disability (nchpad.org) website.  The following are just a few points made:

• A new definition of health where it is viewed as multi-dimensional and that optimal health is seen as defined within a given person's unique circumstances.
• Health is viewed as the maximizing of one's potential along various dimensions--balancing physical, social, emotional, spiritual and intellectual factors. 
• Under this definition, disability is not a roadblock to maximizing health and potential.  

How cool is that?!!  You can do anything you want to within your capabilities.  No comparison to athletes, or "normal" people.  You do the best you can within your abilities.  You compete with yourself and no one else.  You are healthy!  

The article also poses questions needing to be addressed regarding exercise for people with disabilities, such as:

• Where people with disabilities go for fitness information that is relevant to their needs
• How should we exercise?
• How much?

Further, the article states that people with disabilities need:

•  exercise guidelines that are age and function-limited-sensitive
• universal equipment!!!!!  This equipment would be for everyone!!!  I am short so when I went to the gym there were machines that I couldn't use because I couldn't reach them, or even the recumbent bikes that, while low, were long so I could reach the pedals even after making adjustments.

I encourage you to read the article.  There is so much cool information in it.  I hope it's helpful to you.  

So!  Are you committed to wellness?  What are you going to do to increase wellness in your life?  What are you doing already from the list above?  Celebrate that!  I would love to hear what you're doing, and what your plans are, and what you think of the article.  

Email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com, or comment below.

Now, I may have a guest blogger on Friday.  If not, that will happen soon.  And, I will see you back here next week.  Have a great weekend and take care.

Friendship and Life Changes

As I've mentioned before, friendships are very important to your well-being.  They comfort you, laugh with you, defend you, and provide companionship.  

But what if you make a major change in your life?  Will they still be there?  Will they know how to handle the new you?

Some changes that could affect friendships are:

• Weight loss:  Your friends may be jealous of your ability to lose weight.

• Eating healthy:  You're new eating habits don't fit in with their beer and pizza mentality.

• Stopping smoking/drinking/abusing drugs: Sometimes the only thing you have in common is a bad habit.  When that's gone, the friendship is gone too.

• Values:  If you have been friends with people who steal, lie, cheat, are disrespectful to others, and change your ways, you may find out that they no longer want to hang out with you.  They aren't willing to change with you.

• Political affiliation:  This has been a hot one in recent years.  Your friends don't understand how you could possibly buy into a party they feel no affinity towards.  You've been friends for years, but suddenly you are dirt.  The tension is too intense and they dump you.  Over politics.  Bye!

• Job--financial status:  You may lose touch with friends from work who you no longer see on a regular basis.  You may not have anything but work in common with them, so you drift apart.  You also may lose friends if you suddenly find yourself in a lower or higher tax bracket.  They can't seem to relate to you anymore.

• Marriage:  Your single friends may drift away after the hoopla of the wedding and reception.  You have new responsibilities and priorities that don't necessarily fit into their single lifestyle.

• Having children:  When you start a family, your single friends, again, may not be keen on this new you.  You aren't the footloose and fancy-free friend you used to be, so they back away.

• Sexual orientation:  When you "come out," some friends may totally freak out and abandon you.  The same can be true if you decide to go through gender reassignment surgery.    

• Divorce:  Your friends may feel torn between you and your former spouse.  They care about both of you, but they feel like they are being forced to take sides.  It could become too much of a strain for them, so they walk away from the friendship.

• A move:  Even though friends can keep in touch with you via Skype, phone, email, texting, and visits once you leave, for some it just isn't the same as day to day in-person contact.  You're each experiencing new things that you can't necessarily explain or share intimately from a great distance, so they eventually fade away. 

• Illness:  Of course, your closest friends will most likely understand when you're sick. But others may get tired of waiting for you to feel well enough to go out shopping, hiking, to the theater or a favorite restaurant when you used to be ready and willing to go on the fly.  You're just no fun anymore.

• Death:  Again, you're closest friends will generally stick by you after you've suffered a personal loss.  But others may not know how to respond or what to do, so they back away.

• Betrayal:  If you betray a friend's trust, you have a good chance of losing her.  Without trust, everything else you had with that person is gone, done, over.

Friendship is a tricky thing.  Some friendships last decades while others only last a weekend.  The important thing is that you stay true to yourself.  Do what feels right in your gut.  Make the changes you need to make in order to live your best life, and your true friends will be right there beside you, supporting you every step of the way.  

Have you lost friends due to changes you have made in your life?  

Vlog: Chronic Illness and Feeling Low

Hello, everyone!  I hope you're having a great day.  Here's today's vlog post on chronic illness and feeling low.  Have your life plans been hampered by health issues?  It's frustrating, I know, but remember to put your health first.  Do what you need to do to get passed those stumbling blocks, then concentrate on work, school, that new job, that new activity you'd like to try.  Nothing is as important as your health.  

If you have a specific topic you'd like me to cover in a blog post, let me know.  Anything on special needs/abilities, health issues, or friendship.  Either post it in the comments below or shoot me an email (amy@acnlifecoach.com).  Thanks.  Take care.

"Me Before You:" My Take on It

"Me Before You," by Jojo Moyes, has gotten a lot of attention.  As soon as I read the blurb about it on the back cover, I grabbed it.  I tend to favor books exploring male-female friendship, so that was the first thing that jumped out at me about this book.  Then, the fact that one of the characters used a wheelchair captured my interest.  I haven't seen many books like that.  

Louisa is hired to help take care of Will, who is a quadriplegic and uses a wheelchair.  Another reason she's hired by his parents, unbeknownst to her at first, is to help Will find joy in life again in an attempt to prevent him from going through with plans for assisted suicide in 6 month's time.

The Controversy

The book has sparked somewhat of a controversy: there is no point in living if you have a disability.  This because no matter what Louisa does to try to perk him up and otherwise help him, he doesn't back down from his original intention: to end his life.  He's got parents who love him, a woman who loves him, friends who love him, but it's not enough.  He still faces years in the "prision" of his wheelchair, only able to move his fingers a bit, with the promise of deteriorating health, and total dependence on others.   

My Take on It

Assisted suicide is a very personal issue, and it is difficult to know how a person would react if he were in the situation for real of being paralyzed with the strong possibility of losing more ability and function as times went on.  It was up to Will to decide.  It was his life.  No one could step into his shoes and realize how he felt, or suddenly flip a switch that made all the problems go away.  He needed to do what he felt was right for himself.  The same is true for someone who is adamantly opposed to assisted suicide.  The decision is, ultimately, his.

I thought it was a fabulous book.  It felt authentic.  Since I spent a large chunk of my life in a wheelchair due to the effects of spina bifida, I could relate to Will's character so much.  Moyes either is a very talented writer with excellent research skills, or she has experience with being in a wheelchair or has someone in her life who uses one because she was spot on with the feelings, frustrations, stares, difficulty getting around barriers, and so on.  Her characters had conversations nearly word-for-word from those I've had in my own life. I hated every minute I spent in that chair.  Rather than treat it as a means of independence and freedom, I loathed it as something that made me stick out and look different in a sea of "normal" kids.  I wasn't paralyzed like Will, but numerous foot surgeries and issues kept me in the wheelchair for extended periods of time.  It caused countless headaches trying to get from one place to another. It was just a nuisance in my eyes.  

By the time I hit high school, I had had enough.  I was angry, depressed and concerning my parents with talks of wanting to die.  I hadn't come up with a way to do it yet, but I was very close.  My mom took me to a psychiatric nurse who was experienced in counseling teens.  The nurse helped some.  But, as nice as she was, I found myself play-acting with her; telling her what she wanted to hear.

The real breakthrough came when I met a fellow classmate at school.  He was in my freshman history class.  I never usually looked around the classroom, just at my lap, my books, or the teacher, but that day, I looked to my right and we both did a double take.  I clicked with him immediately.  He was interested in medical stuff, we were both outsiders at the time ( he was new to the school while I wasn't, but I didn't feel like I fit in), he stuck up for me, and he boosted my confidence.  

Will and Louisa's relationship reminded me somewhat of ours in reverse, but his friendship helped me decide to live, not die.  I'm thankful for that.  Thoughts of death were replaced with a determination to ditch my wheelchair.  I fought to walk and I finally won at age 16.  

I didn't read the book thinking that it sent a negative message to people with disabilities.  I thought of it as a story of two people coming together to help each other live the best lives possible.  Sometimes endings just don't turn out the way we want them to, but that is what made the book so authentic to me.  It wasn't a storybook ending.  It was about real life issues and the tough decisions we have to make in the face of adversity.  He made his choice.  She was devastated but supportive in the end, and that's what real friendship is.  That's what it means to love and respect another person.

I only had a couple of gripes with the book:  1.  Will and his family just had to be loaded.  I suppose to finance all the joyful experiences someone would have to be rich, but I really wish more books were written with the message that you don't have to have piles of money to be happy or for your dreams to come true.  2.  Will died.  I was hoping he'd change his mind at the last minute, but no.  

If you are feeling down about your health issues, surround yourself with positive, caring people--friends, health care professionals, family, clergy, colleagues, and the like..  Or you may only need that one friend who sticks his neck out to make you feel whole, capable, happy, and ready to take on the world--or at least your little corner of it.  If you feel depressed, please seek help from a qualified mental health professional.  Whatever works, go for it--for life.

So, have you read the book?  If so, what did you think of it?  And, if not, I'm sorry for the spoilers.

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Note:  I just happened to write about this book because, like the graphic above says, it spoke to me.  It was about friendship and health issues and I loved it.  I am not writing this as a review for an affiliate.

Using My Imagination to Cope

Did you ever make up an imaginary world to "live" in to help you cope with health issues or other problems as a child?

I did.  

From the time I was about nine years old, I lived in a fantasy world of my own making as much as I possibly could.  My bedroom was my sanctuary.  There, I entered a world where I was healthy, strong, popular, and happy.  In it, I was an actress, singer, writer, and artist.  I made movies, I sang on a television music program, I went on tour around the world, met celebrities. I walked with my imaginary friends throughout the family farm where I grew up, taking them on wild adventures and showing them my favorite hideouts. I took some of my fantasy world friends to school with me at times as well, and as soon as I got home, I'd scoot up to my sanctuary again until it was time to join the family for supper.  It never interfered with chores or homework.  I studied like crazy all through school.  Later, I married, had children, got divorced, remarried in my fantasy world.  Then I retired at the ripe old age of 24 when I, myself got married for real.  I still visited my fantasy world off and on for many years after "retirement," when a particularly challenging health issue came up.  But today I rarely venture there.  

I remember, several years ago, I was talking with a psychologist and the subject of my fantasy world came up.  The doctor said that I had chosen a very healthy way of dealing with the stress related to my health issues.  When I ventured into my fantasy world all those years ago, I had no idea I was actually providing myself with my own brand of therapy.  But it worked.  Along with my family, medical team, special friends, music, art, and writing, my fantasy world helped me cope through some of the most difficult times of my life.  I'm thankful that my nine-year-old mind came up with the idea and that I stuck with it for as long as I did.  

So, have you ever done anything like that?  If not, what did you do to help you cope during tough times during childhood or otherwise?  

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I will be on vacation for the next few weeks.  I promised my husband I wouldn't work during our time off.  I will see you back here the first week of June.  Be well.  Take care.