Vlog: Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

I got to thinking about self-esteem and self-confidence the other days.  I've heard them used interchangeably but felt as if they weren't quite the same.  I was right.

Self-esteem is:

• how you generally feel about yourself
• how much you like/love yourself
• your overall view of who you are
• influenced by past experiences and the surroundings you were raised in
• influenced by family, school, friends, and community

How can you improve it?

• surround yourself with positive people who believe in you
• look inside and come to terms with your past
• leave unhealthy relationships
• forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made
• be good to yourself (exercise, eat healthfully, get good sleep)
• do things you enjoy (hobbies, sports, interests)
• write down things you like about yourself
• learn something new (take classes, listen to podcasts, etc.)
• do what you love and are good at for work
• realize you are good enough
• stop blaming others for what they have done to you
• stop worrying about what others think
• stop trying to please others
• say no to things you really don't want to do.  Say yes to what makes your heart sing
• stop trying to compete with others.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  Concentrate on your goals, no one else's.
• live your life your way without apology

Sef-confidence is:

• how you feel about your abilities
• how you view your capabilities to do things and handle a job or emergency, for example

You may be more confident at skiing than working with computers.  Or, dancing versus math.  Or, driving may not be one of your strengths, but you are an excellent speaker.

How can you improve self-confidence?

• get out of your comfort zone
• try something that scares you a little
• test yourself
• try a new job--maybe volunteer there first to see if you like it
• hang out with positive people who will challenge you in a good way
• boost your independence
• become your own advocate

The more you challenge yourself--step out of your comfort zone--the more you will become comfortable doing these new things and making decisions.  Building self-confidence self-esteem!

How do you building your self-esteem and self-confidence?  Who in your life has helped you do so?  

Vlog: Remembering a Class Trip

Hello all!  Today's vlog topic is on doing things on your own.  It is particularly geared toward those with chronic health issues.  I talk about a class trip I went on in high school.  It was the first one I ever went on without my mother.  I was nervous, but I did it.  It taught me that I really could do things on my own.  The lesson here is to try to be as independent and self-sufficient as possible.  Learn all about your health maintenance so if you're caregiver isn't around, you will know what to do.  I hope you enjoy the video and find it helpful.  Have a great weekend.  Take care.

Practice Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is very important.  I didn't realize how much so until I was an adult.  I had never accepted myself fully throughout childhood.  I had never fully accepted my life with spina bifida and the health issues that came with it.  I got good at self-care, but that didn't mean I had made my peace with it.  I hated it.  I was very self-conscious, shy, and insecure.  I didn't appreciate the fact that being unique was a good thing.  I didn't appreciate my talents and strengths. 

Self-Acceptance

So, how can you practice self-acceptance, you may be asking.  Here are some of the ways:

• Avoid judging or criticizing yourself.  Be as good as you can be.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Don't beat yourself up about it.  
• Be your own friend.  Remember that your friends wouldn't say hurtful things to you, so neither should you.
• Accept your body as it is.  This doesn't mean to let yourself go, but to accept what is, and not freak out or punish yourself for not being "perfect." Flaws are inevitable.  Work on improving yourself over time without judgment. 
• Live a healthy lifestyle.  Eat properly, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep.  Your body knows what it needs.  Listen to it.
• Do what makes you laugh.  Do what makes your heart sing.  Wear what you want.  Wear your hair the way you want.  Be your best self.  Be someone you'd love to hang out with, because, let's face it, you are who you hang out with ALL the time.
• Make a point to challenge feelings of self-blame, -doubt, and -shame.  
• Celebrate your strengths, talents, abilities, and uniqueness.
• Take notice of the types of people you hang out with.  Are these healthy relationships?  Are these people good to you?  Do they have your back?  Or are they always finding fault or trying to drag you into activities you don't feel comfortable doing?
• Surround yourself with positive people.  Get yourself a strong support system you can rely on.  Stick with people who believe in you.
• Forgive yourself.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Mourn those mistakes and move on.
• Tell that inner critic to hit the road.  It doesn't serve you in the least to listen to that negative voice.  It's not wise.  It's not protecting you.  It's only helping to kill your self-acceptance.  Ditch it.
• Let go of those things; those circumstances you can't control and concentrate on those that you can control.

Do you do any of these things?  I do, yes.  Some.  Do you accept yourself as you are?  Yes, I do, now, I'm happy to say.  Of course, everyone has their off days, but make a point to practice self-acceptance every day and you'll find it easier as time passes.  

Can you think of anything else that I've missed?  Let me know in the comments.  Have a great weekend!