Coaching Niches: How I Came To Choose Special Needs/Abilities and Friendship (Part 1)

There are many coaching niches: career, ADHD, stay-at-home moms, relationships...on and on.  When I went searching for ideas, I couldn't believe the variety.  But none jumped out at me; none felt right.  So, I turned to myself and what I had experience in and a passion for.  First, I came up with special needs, and fitness, then fitness was replaced by friendship.  So, now I have two unique niches that I am knowledgeable in and passionate about.  Perfect!  Here's how I chose them, starting with special needs.  Friendship will be covered in part 2.

Special Needs/Abilities

As I've mentioned before, I was born with spina bifida.  I've dealt with health issues all my life.  I know what it's like to deal with the medical world.  It can be daunting and demoralizing.  It can also be inspiring and celebratory.  For example, meeting doctors who care enough to fight for you every step of the way, or those who celebrate your little victories to help keep your spirits up through the long process of recovery laced with setbacks.  And then there are the family members and friends who never give up on you, no matter how many times you are sick with an infection, or have to have surgery, or complain about the crappy hand you were dealt.  It is a tough road, no question about it.  But, I've been able to navigate the medical maze that is part of my lifestyle with a fair amount of success, and I wanted to help others do the same. 

I'd always wanted to help people in some way.  I started out with the idea of studying English with aspirations of being a writer.  I thought I would write articles that would shed light on the special needs community, point out where improvements could be made regarding perceptions of those with health issues, and write books featuring characters with special needs.  But I nixed that and switched to psychology, then I switched to developmental disabilities, then sociology.  Then I turned off that road to study business but always worked in offices geared toward helping others such as social service agencies and educational programs. 

 In the early 1990s, I started my own typing and design business (combining my two loves of writing and art) that I ran from home.  I was still helping people but in a different way.  For the first few years, I still worked in offices through a temp service, but then in 1996, I went home-based full-time, and that's the way it's been ever since.  It was so much easier to manage my health care schedule while working at home as opposed to having to trek to an office in the city each day.  I had moderate success with that business and had fun designing the products: resumes, manuscripts, note cards, address labels, and the like.  It wasn't until 2007 that I closed up shop on that venture.  That's when we moved to Utah.

That move spurred big changes in me. I learned to navigate the streets in a city bigger than any I'd ever driven in before.  A huge accomplishment considering I had always been petrified of driving even on country roads.  I also joined a gym, lost 25 pounds and was in the best shape of my life.  I was so impressed with the trainers, my experience, and my results that I decided to get certified as a personal trainer myself.  Many of the trainers at the gym where I worked out were supportive of my decision, helping me study for the exam, asking for updates, cheering me on.  It felt great.

Then I stumbled.  The manager of the gym seemed willing to hire me as a trainer there, but I hadn't applied yet. He kept asking me when I was going to apply.  I said I was going to wait until I got back from a trip back east to visit family.  Why I waited, I have no idea.  This had become a bad habit of mine over the years.  Well, by the time I got back from that trip, that manager was gone.  He'd moved up north to open his own business.  I didn't realize the gravity of my mistake until I applied at the gym and didn't get an interview.  I applied three different times at that gym and several others around town, got a couple interviews at other facilities, but was not hired.  I don't know the actual reason why I wasn't hired, but I have a feeling it was partly due to the fact that I didn't have experience and also didn't fit the cookie-cutter image of the svelte, young, healthy trainer.  Even though many people had told me they would rather work with someone who looked less intimidating and closer to their age, gym managers seemed to have other ideas.  The lesson I took from that was, never, ever pass up a reasonable opportunity that lands in your lap.  I did end up working remotely for that manager friend who had believed in me, blogging and providing customer service for his company. It was something fitness-related at least.

My final fitness position was as a coach for participants of a weight loss drug study.  That lasted almost three years.  I enjoyed coaching the participants who took the time to check in with me, but it was part-time and, honestly, not the type of thing I wanted to do long-term.  After five years of trying to establish myself in the fitness industry, I had had enough.  My heart wasn't in it anymore.  I gained back the weight I'd lost, I was discouraged that nothing I tried seemed to last.  Not knowing what else to do, I wrote content for websites.

Next, I looked into master's degree programs in psychology and certificate programs in play therapy, considering one of my original plans.  Well, the information I found indicated that I would probably have to take a heap of psychology courses to start, since I hadn't taken many in college years earlier, then I'd have to get my master's degrees in psychology or related field, and then get certified in play therapy, plus licencing exams, etc, etc.  It added up to almost 10 years of education when all was said and done.  I was 50 at the time.  There was no way I was going to invest all that time and money for a career that might last 10 years, tops.  If I had gone for it in my 30s, sure.  But I wasn't prepared to take on such a big project in my 50s.  It's doable, for sure.  There are people who tackle it in their 70s and 80s.  It just wasn't something I was willing to take on.  

Then in 2014, I heard about life coaching.  Curious, I did some research.  It sounded perfect for me.  I could get certified in a reasonable amount of time for a reasonable fee, and work at home helping people!  I was over the moon.  I loved the study materials, the practice coaching, and meeting other coaches who had the same passion for helping others that I did.  

When it came time to choose my niche, one popped into my head immediately:  special needs.  I added "abilities" to it as well because I wanted to key on the positive; what clients can do, rather than what they can't.  By focusing on special needs/abilities coaching, I am able to bring all the knowledge and experience I've gained throughout my life to each session in order to help guide people with health issues as they navigate the sometimes confusing, sometimes frightening medical world.  But not only that.  I provide guidance to clients dealing with societal issues as well.  There are those in the world at large who sometimes forget that we're all human, including those with special needs; we're all able to contribute to society in a variety of ways, big and small, and we should be respectfully allowed to do so to our full potential.    

Always keep a look out for opportunities you view as potentially rewarding and fulfilling. Grab them, and hold on tight.

Live Life on Your Own Terms

A few weeks ago I had an unpleasent encounter with a lady at the grocery store; the one who remarked, "You forgot to grow."  Recently, on a trip to Bryce Canyon National Park, I was admiring some artwork in the hallway at the visitor's center when a man greeted me with a nod and smile as he walked by.  A minute later he returned and gently placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I had to come back and tell you . . .  you have had many struggles, right?" he asked and I nodded, a little wary but not much.  "But you don't let it stop you."  Then his voice cracked and he broke down.  "I think that's great."  Then he walked away.

On the one hand it was awesome that he noticed that it is very hard sometimes to explore the world, put a smile on my face and join in on outings and activities even though I'm tired,  or go out hiking when I've got these short legs and balance issues while my husband, Jim, and our exchange student, Naja, have long legs and an easier time of it.  The elevation at Bryce is a killer for me.  I get so out of breath up there, and not just from the breath-taking views!  I appreciate when people notice that I'm there, I'm trying, I'm doing.

On the other hand, it feels weird sometimes to be singled out as special.  "Oh, you're so brave." "You've got such guts."  You don't let anything stop you."  "You do so well despite your challenges."  I'd love it if they would just smile and say hi sometimes and leave it at that.  It would be nice to be treated like anyone else.

But the fact is, I do have issues.  I do need help on the hills and narrow paths when I explore.  If I didn't get help, I may possible trip on the slightest blip on the path and go tumbling down a mountainside, whereas others would be able to rebound and recover, or may not even notice that blip in their path at all. 

We each have our own path to take in life.  It is important to choose the one that suits us best as individuals rather than going along with the crowd.  Accept and decline help graciously when appropriate.  Follow your own path; don't let others choose it for you due to their own stereotypes or limited views, or even those who think, heck, you can do anything and convince you that you should try death-defying feats.  Listen to your gut.  Live your life on your own terms.  

L.I.F.E.

Hi all!  I've been thinking of what great qualities I value in life and came up with these.  Here's the acronym for you:

L=Listen:  How many times to you sit quietly and just listen to your body?  Do you know what it really needs?  Does it need sleep?  Exercise?  A vacation?  A check up?  And, do you take the time to really listen to those in your life--their views, concerns, who they really are, and what they really want from you and their lives?  Or, do you concentrate more on what they can do for you?  We can learn so much from having the patience to listen instead of jumping in to counter someone else's view or cutting off someone to show that we "are more superior" than they are.  Finally, do you listen to your surroundings?  Are you aware that the birds are singing outside?  Do you stop to notice kids squealing with laughter as they play in the park near your apartment building?  Listen, learn, and love yourself, others and the world around you.

I=Inspire:  To inspire is to make someone want to do something or feel something.  Inspire to be inspiring!  What a wonderful gift it is to hear that you are an inspiration to someone.  But, you may wonder how to go about being inspiring.  A good way to start is to live your life naturally.  Be real.  Live your true life every day; one in which you are authentic, kind, giving, forgiving, strong, and motivating toward yourself and others.  You may face a chronic illness with humor and determination.  Or, you may write songs, books, or short stories that cut right to the heart of what others are going through, helping them cope.  You may also be the person in the neighborhood who is always ready with a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, an ear to listen, or a funny story to cheer others up.  Inspiration is different for all of us.  Be the difference--make a difference.

F=Forgive:  It can be very easy to hold onto grudges, past hurts, and misunderstandings.  But by doing this, we risk emotional and physical pain.  Refusing to let go of these feelings is not good for our health, no matter how much we try to justify it.  It festers and gets blown way out of proportion.  It serves no real purpose.  Forgiveness, on the other hand, frees us from the burden of keeping all the anger, resentment, fear, and pain inside.  It allows us to heal the wounds caused by the dispute and move on.  Make an effort to personally forgive those who have hurt you.  If traveling to meet with them is not possible, write them a heart-felt, honest letter.  If they have passed on or you don't know how to reach them, still write the letter and keep it in your journal or somewhere else that is private.  There is no need to share it with anyone.  This is between you and those who have hurt you alone.

E=Explore:  If there is one thing that I wish I'd done through the years it's to have explored more often.  I spent my childhood pretty much afraid of getting hurt and trying new things.  I didn't like going places on my own, or joining in activities with other kids.  I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it; that I wouldn't fit in.  Well, then Jim came along.  He loves to explore!  We have traveled all over the country and the world, experiencing things I never thought I'd ever see or be a part of.  We made that move across the country that I have talked about before, gotten involved in community, and made many good friends.  Although I still like my alone time and I've become quite the homebody, I have learned, changed, and grown a lot over the past 20 or so years.  Never give up a chance to explore your world.  It could be your neighborhood, your city, your county, your country, or the world at large.  Whatever feels right, whatever you're curious about, set out to discover more about it.  You're apt to learn a little something new about yourself in the process.

Do you listen, inspire, forgive, and explore?  If so, how has it enriched your life?  What other qualities of life can you substitute in this L.I.F.E. acronym that apply to you?  Let me know.  Feel free to email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or leave a comment below.  Thanks! 

.