Vlog: Service Dogs/Assistance Dogs

Service dogs can provide help to people with vision problems, hearing problems, and other disabilities.

Do you have one?

Do you need one?

Are you contemplating getting one?

I looked up the law and it didn't require a vest for the dog.  I thought that was odd.  It would seem that people would have less trouble with a service animal being in a store or restaurant if the animal was obviously a service animal.  Otherwise, anyone could say the animal was a service animal and it could simply be their pet that they didn't want to leave alone at home or in the car.

The Americans with Disabilities Act states that people with disabilities are allowed public access rights for their specially trained assistance dogs.  Anywhere. 

There are rules, though.

•  the dog must be well-behaved and under control, on a leash or harness
• the dog must be well-groomed
• the person is responsible for the dog including cleaning up any messes, keeping the dog under control, and paying for any damage the dog does
• the dog must be trained to perform one or more tasks for the person

Business owners are allowed to ask only two questions of a person with a dog coming into their business:

• Is that your pet?
• What does the dog do for you?

What business owners can't ask:

• What is your disability?
• For proof of disability
• For proof of where the dog was trained

How to get a service dog

• Get a letter from your doctor stating that you are disabled under the American Disabilities Act.
• You need to know what you need help with so the dog can be specifically trained for that purpose.
• You must be willing to wait for the dog to be trained.
• Pay about $25,000 for a professionally trained dog.  You can train your own dog, too, though.

Emotional support dogs

• Can live with you in housing where dogs aren't allowed without paying an extra fee.
• Can fly with you without additional fees.
• Any dog can be an emotional support dog and they don't have to be specially trained.
• It's a good idea to get a vest or tag, though, to save the hassle of explaining the dog's presence everywhere you go.
• Some conditions you can have a support dog for are: anxiety, phobias, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts/tendencies.
• Consult your doctor for information on how to go about getting an emotional support dog.

More information:

• Even if a business posts a "no pets" sign, service dogs are allowed.
• Business owners cannot charge a maintenance fee for allowing the dog to enter.
• The dog isn't required to wear a vest, but it is recommended 
• https://www.officialservicedogregistry.com/register-your-emotional-support-dog/

What do you think of the fact that emotional support dogs don't have to be trained?  I think that's kind of odd.  I wouldn't want just any dog in the store.  If they don't like the scent of someone, or another trained dog comes along, the untrained dog could cause a lot of trouble.

Making Choices: It's Been Awhile, but I'm Back

Whoa!  It's been awhile since I've posted here.  It's been a trying, confusing, exciting, and rewarding couple of years.  Here's what happened, in a nutshell.
---- Do you get the feeling that you've hit on something really special?  You've finally found your calling?  But then, life happens?  That calling comes and you're raring to go and then---boom!  One thing after another comes along and delays that jump full force into this project, this thing, this life that you have been waiting for.  I spent two years consumed with other things, not blogging or coaching.  There were times when I longed to blog, but as I got further and further away from it, it was harder to get back to it.  Now I wish I had documented the events of those two years.  It would have been fun and also educational to look back on them.  It was a time of growth and adventure that I won't forget.

In August of 2015, our high school exchange student, Naja, arrived from Denmark to stay with us for the 2015-16 school year.  At first, I made time for blogging.  One post in early August of that year, then another in early September.  Then...nothing.  I made a conscious choice to concentrate on our exchange year experience, not on business or blogging.  I wanted to dive in and fully experience those 10 months, not be absent.  Live it, breathe it, feel it deeply.  Every part of it.

I understand where people are coming from when they are torn.  I love writing.  I love life coaching.  My business had already been put on the back burner shortly after getting my life coach certification the previous year when my mother came to stay with us for a bit.  She had had a stroke at the beginning of 2014 and could no longer live alone.  She lived with my sister at the time, but that sister needed to have surgery.  She asked if we (my husband and me) could take care of Mom for a couple of months while she recovered, which we did.  Although it was heartbreaking to see the changes the stroke had caused in Mom, we had a lot of fun during her visit:  reminiscing, going out for ice cream, hiking, playing games, and painting.

But we went ahead with hosting Naja.  We needed to go for what felt right in our guts, and this felt right.  

I dove into the role of host parent.  I drove Naja to and from school daily, braved the throngs of teen drivers navigating the streets near the school, and thanked my lucky stars each time I arrived home in one piece.  I have never been particularly fond of driving, but it was a whole different ball game with a 16-year-old riding with me.  That bumped up the pressure of responsibility just a tad.  It was one thing to drive myself around, but to be responsible for a teen, besides; someone else's child?  Yow!  Her parents had consented to allow their daughter to travel across the world to live with us, trusting us to keep her safe and well for 10 months.  I nearly broke out in hives the first day of school. 

Life seemed to go 110 miles an hour once Naja joined us and settled in.  We took her to many of the parks and sites in Utah, where we live, and the surrounding area.  She made lots of amazing friends, so there were often other teens coming and going, or we were driving her to a friend's house or school event.  It was: go, go, go for 10 months.  We had a blast!  

Then, it was over.  Her parents came in May of 2016 and stayed with us for 10 days.  We had so much fun.  They are lovely people and the time went so fast.  We didn't want it to end.  But it was time.  When we waved goodbye to them at the airport, we didn't quite know what to do.  We stood in the terminal kind of shell shocked for a bit. The fact that the year was over brought on both feelings of sadness and, admittedly, relief.  Naja was fantastic.  She was intelligent, witty, sweet, never got into trouble--no problem.  But we don't have children of our own, so when Naja arrived we were instantly responsible for a teen.  We didn't have 16 years to get ready for this exciting and challenging time in her life, as parents who raise a child from birth do.  So we were in a whole different world and learning as we went along.  It was very challenging and stressful at times.  So when she left there was that relief of not having the huge responsibility for her.  That said, it also was one of the most rewarding, exciting, and fun experiences we've had.

Before Naja left, I had all sorts of plans of what to do when the exchange year was over.  I was going to start my coaching business, join a local book club as well as a social club, write for online publications, volunteer all over the community, blog, and so on.  But I hadn't realized how tired I was.  Instead of jumping into all these activities, I slept.  And slept, and slept.  And when I was awake I just kind of went about daily chores as if on auto pilot.  Life was so different!  The house felt empty and was so quiet.  

I lost feeling for all things.  A wall went up around me.  I had a feeling of total disorganization and ineptitude that left me seemingly frozen in place.  I couldn't seem to get myself out of this funk.  For someone who had always prided herself on being organized, I was a mess.  I didn't know which end was up, I didn't know what to do.  I couldn't seem to get enthused about anything that I had, not that long before, been excited about.  I didn't join any clubs, I didn't exercise much, I didn't volunteer, I didn't write, I didn't coach.  It was bizarre.

It didn't help matters that I had bouts with sickness (colds, flu), foot, knee and shoulder trouble (old injuries that came back to haunt me), and as a result, weight gain.  I also had more time to think about Mom once Naja left.  She was so different after the stroke.  She still had that beautiful smile and positive attitude, but part of the old Mom was gone.  She couldn't do a lot of the things she used to love to do:  garden, read, hike.  She was always very active.  Seriously, she could out-walk anyone half her age, even in her 80s.  And we used to talk for hours on the phone, whereas 5- to 10-minute calls were now the norm.  I sort of felt abandoned and lost without my mom.  

I've worked through these feelings and problems.  I've done a lot of thinking; looking inside. I've done a lot of reading on the topic of parent illness, dementia, getting organized, life change, and parent loss.  I've gained comfort from my husband and dear friends.  It still frustrates me at times, but I know that I'm stronger for these experiences.

And now, I'm back.  I'm looking forward to blogging again on a regular basis--I'm planning on blogging once a week to start.  

Have you had to put something on the back burner that you were excited about to do something else that was important as well?  Comment below, or send me an email at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  I'd love to hear from you. 

Are You Felix or Oscar?

Does a messy house drive you bananas?  Or are you perfectly happy to forego chores in order to do more enjoyable tasks, work- or play-related?  Do you like your apprearance, living, and working space to be neat and tidy, or do you tend to be laid back, relaxed, and think being messy is no big deal?  Do you freak out over germs or think nothing of handling your pets while fixing or eating meals?  Do you find yourself worrying about everything or taking everything in stride? Are you uptight Felix or easy-going Oscar from the 1970's hit television series The Odd Couple?  

I think Jim and I are a mix of the two.  

He is definitely a Felix in that he prefers having a place for everything and everything in its place.  He likes neatness.  He gets that from his mom.  But, like Oscar,he's also pretty laid back and relaxed, not worrying about every little thing.  "It's okay, we have time," he says, as shivers run down my spine.  He likes to be on time, I like to be early--very early.  He doesn't like schedules, preferring to just go with the flow.  It took years for me to get him to finally start making hotel reservations whenever we went away.  I like to know where I'm staying ahead of time while he'd rather just pick someplace to stay once we get to where we're going.  After a few times hunting for accommodations in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, I put a stop to that. 

Today, we mostly come prepared with reservations, although when Jim rode his bicycle across his home state of Nebraska a few years ago while I drove the sag wagon, we only had a reservation for the first night since we didn't know exacly how far we'd go each day.  I managed not to freak out too much over that.  I was too excited (and shocked, I admit) that I was actually driving a car across the state by myself.  Miracles do happen, folks.  A few years before that, I would have sworn I'd never, ever, ever, EVER do such a thing.  I've always had an aversion to driving, and I'm Felix in that I'm a worrier.  Jim does the worrying about bills, payments and such, while I worry about, well, everything else.    

Oh man, am I ever a worrier! If there's something to worry about, or even if there's not, I worry, which drives Jim a little crazy.  He says I am always coming up with something to worry about.  In that respect, I'm Felix, big time.  But, like Oscar, I'm messy, I admit it.  I don't get bent out of shape when the bed's not made or there are mountains of books and papers all over the office.  It's the artist in me.  I'm the creative type--I write, draw, paint, and leave half-finished projects sprawled around.  It bugs me to have to pick up everything when I'm in the middle of something.  Yet, I'm meticulous when it comes to cleanliness if I'm doing anything associated with medical care and maintenance.  For example, nearly 10 years ago I had to have a temporary nephrostomy due to some kidney blockage.  I was still under the influence and in the recovery room when the nurse started to explain how to take care of the nephrostomy, irrigate it, and so on.  I took notes as best I could.  Jim tried to follow the nurse's instructions, but he looked pretty lost.  When I got home and looked at my notes, they were gibberish.  I never should have been discharged that soon without knowing first how to handle this new gadget that was attached to my body.  

Anyway, I finally got some useful instructions from the local ostomy nurses who were fabulous during that difficult time.  They made me laugh, let me vent my frustration, and provided excellent care.  Thanks to them, Jim, my mom, and our neighbor were all able to learn how to properly assist me in the care of my nephrostomy.  But I still became very nervous, frustrated and crabby whenever we had to change the bandage or irrigate the wound.  I was petrified that we'd do something wrong and I'd end up with an infection or in need of further surgery.  We made countless trips to the ostomy clinic for help. I got on everyone's nerves, I'm sure. 

So, why do I think I'm the way I am?  Well, I think I'm messy because I've always had medical stuff to deal with, medication to take, wounds to dress, doctor's appointments to go to--important stuff.  When compared to made beds and everything being in it's rightful place, medical matter win out as more important to me.  And the worrying comes from my dad.  I'm a lot like my dad in many ways, but probably mostly in the worrying department.  Preferring to be early stems from having a hard time walking over the years, and I have short legs.  It takes me longer to get where I'm going than, say, Jim who is tall.  His long legs get him where he needs to go fast.  

We're all different.  We probably all have a little bit of both Oscar and Felix in us.  The important thing is to grow, change, compromise, and strive to be our best selves.

Now, it's your turn.  Who are you most like, Felix or Oscar?  And how has it impacted your life?

Over-Thinking, Part 1: Doctor's Visits

Do you over-think about upcoming doctor's appointments?  My latest video offers tips on how to calm your mind.  I hope it's helpful.