Vlog: Crying Is Healthy

Crying is often seen as shameful or a weakness.  But, it can actually be healthy.

According to WebMD, Some psychologists say we are cheating ourselves by avoiding crying, holding it back, keeping our emotions inside.  Why?

Benefits of crying

Well, crying:

• activates the body in a healthy way
• opens us up
• releases stress
• promotes mental health
• relaxes muscles
• activates the parasympathetic nervous system (This is part of the autonomic nervous system.  Functions include sexual arousal, waste removal, digestion, and saliva stimulation.)
• regulates the body's balance

Also, emotional tears have more stress hormones than other types of tears, such as those that lubricate and those that come along when we get something in our eye.  These tears have more mood-boosting manganese.

Where should you cry?

So, where do health professionals recommend you cry?  That is a personal choice, but they generally recommend finding a quiet place to cry such as a special sanctuary, someplace in nature, or a quiet room.

If you would rather find comfort with others, cry on a loved one's shoulder or attend a crying group.  Yep, that's right, there are crying groups where you can go and cry together with a lot of other people.  While the source I used mentioned a group in Japan, you may decide to start your own crying group right in your local community.  

Whatever you do, don't give yourself a hard time for crying.  Here are tips from Psychology Today: 

• cry for yourself and others.
• cry at what sets off tears, however small or big.
• cry for as long as you see fit.  Look inside and you will know how long you need.
• look inside for the cause of the tears so you can figure out how to take action to solve it.
• if you can't cry right away due to your location (say you are in the middle of a meeting at work), set aside time later in the day to revisit your emotions.  The tears may or may not come, but that is okay.
• be kind to yourself in relation to your crying.  Don't blame yourself or poo-poo the situation.  For example, avoid saying, "I'm so weak," or "I'm crying over nothing."

Whether to cry in public is your choice.  Some professionals say it may be healthy.  Strangers are generally receptive to crying and offer comfort rather than shying away in fear.  But others say to seek a quiet, private place to shed tears.  Do whatever feels right to you.

A note of caution

If you can't get relief from or stop crying, seek help from your healthcare provider.

When I was a small child, I refused to cry when I was in pain or scared in the hospital.  The result?  A stomach ulcer at the age of three.  Yes, three.  This is serious business, folks.  If you hold your emotions in, you could face serious health consequences.  When the doctors discovered the ulcer, they told me that from then on, I should scream and cry if I was feeling bad.  I have taken their advice ever since.

So, do you cry over your health problems, pain, other people's pain, hurt feelings, disappointments, or when you are afraid?  Or do you keep everything inside?  

Guest Post by Janine Kathleen Shapiro: Chronic Illness and Mindset

Hi! Happy Monday! I hope you had a great weekend.

Today, I am thrilled to welcome Janine Kathleen Shapiro, RN,RM,Dip Psych Personal Life Expansion Coach, as my guest. Her post is on chonic illness and mindset. She offers so much positive and helpful information. I hope you enjoy it and find the information useful.

Chronic Illness and Mindset

Definition

mindset

ˈmʌɪn(d)sɛt/

noun

The established set of attitudes held by someone.

What shapes our mindset?

• Childhood and Life Experiences
• Pain
• Societal norms
• Thoughts- ours and others
• Emotions - ours and others
• Desires
• Perceptions and Paradigms- positive and negative
• Personality and Love Languages and how we allow the mix to work for us

What we consistently think about, the emotions we respond to circumstances with, and the degree with which we allow societal norms (allied with past experiences) to control us -  all play a vital and impacting role on our mindset, our attitude and our responses to happenings in our lives and bodies.

The most important thing I would like you to leave this article with is:

YOU are in control of YOUR mindset, your emotions, and your reality.

You have total control over your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, no matter what has shaped it in the past and what is happening on a daily basis.

Change and growth are scary and necessary to living a fulfilling and confident lifestyle.

It takes looking at our deep and ingrained beliefs to see what is truth, what is reality and what no longer serves our current reality.

Beliefs and mindset

A belief is something you have had repeated to you and you have repeated to yourself, over and over until your subconscious has internalised it and taken it as a truth, even if it is a lie and not serving YOUR best interests.

The difference between Helen Keller and others with hearing and visual impairment, besides her companion, was her belief that she could and would achieve, despite her circumstances.

I watched my daughter decide to be a dancer, despite unrelenting pain and other physical challenges.

Her total belief and focus allowed a solution to appear.

Then she chose to put in the time and effort despite starting at 16 years of age when the other children had been dancing since the ages of 3 to 5 years of age.

Subsequently, her purpose shifted to the next level of her life and her choice was to allow it for her greater good.

It takes a decision and a choice to shift our paradigm of what is possible and what CAN be possible.

CHOICE is the most vital aspect of adopting a positive and empowering mindset.

It is actioned, one thought at a time, one situation at a time.

It takes reframing a situation to assist us to move forward rather than staying stuck in victim mentality.

You choose to create your reality

It is so sad to see people OWN their disease, disability, or challenge in life.

They tell me, “Oh I am a diabetic you know.”

My inward response “Well you look like a person, not a disease to me”

We all have different roles in life that make up who we are, it does not make us that role, it is part of the composite us.

Various roles change as we move through the seasons of life, so does that steal from us or add to our ultimate and total worth?

THAT is the decision we need to allow for.

Are you choosing to be a health challenge, a disability, a victim?

Can you choose to be the best person with a great mindset and positive reality?

Would you be prepared to put the work in to shift your mindset for your greatest good, highest of intentions and with the deepest of love?

Action steps

Journaling

Journal and journal your perceptions about emotions, situations, and realities.

Avoid criticising yourself, another.

Avoid judgment.

Be real about your emotions and experience and see how you can reframe looking at it from another angle.

Ask at all times why did something happen, how can it be used for good and growth. I use the phrase “Why has good come from this?” Do not answer it, just allow to flow out and the answers come and are always for our good.

Thank your pain, tiredness, feeling of helplessness and allow to flow onto the paper.

Thank your limitations and see where you can change into a strength for yourself and for others.

Keep checking for the “Woe is me” syndrome, release it and replace immediately with gratitude for what is good and great in your life.

Great questions to ask are:

• How am I feeling today?
• What is an issue I am facing?
• What can I do about my most recent problem?
• What lesson is hidden in a situation I am facing?
• Why do I keep having these thoughts?
• What do I feel the need to change or improve about myself? (Why?)
• Am I being self -compassionate?
• Am I seeing the bigger picture?
• Where am I allowing false perceptions to colour the situation?
• In what ways can I be more mindful?
• What mistaken beliefs am I buying into?
• What is my plan of action to set intentions, work out goals and set tasks to achieve where I want to be?
• What setbacks and obstacles am I facing?
• Are they true or are they limiting beliefs?

Visualization

Visualize what you want in detail and with emotion.

Alter your reality and change your point of focus from what you have to what you would like

Reading and podcasts

Wash your mind daily with empowering and inspiring stories.

Allow others to lift and inspire you to be the best you are able to be.

Mindfulness

Be present at all times to ensure you are in a state of gratitude and choice.

Having a negative moment?

Great.

Thank it, learn from it and replace it with an emotion of something you enjoy and take delight in.

Acceptance

Accept what you have today, acknowledge it and work on what you want for tomorrow.

With health challenges some days are great and others need a little work.

Allow yourself to flow and effortlessly work towards what you need, your reality and release the expectations and beliefs of others.

Let their problem be their problem, not yours.

If they have expectations of you, again, that is their reality.

You know you are stretching and going that extra mile within the framework of self-love and self-compassion and that is OK.

Be in creation and release competition.

Why?

You are awesome as you make empowering choices and rest on the days you just, absolutely, can’t!

Have a day filled with love, joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, and appreciation.

These 6 emotions will take you further than any other.
---------------------

Bio for Janine Kathleen Shapiro

Janine Shapiro, a Personal Life Expansion Coach and Intuitive Healer started out as a

qualified registered nurse, midwife and psychiatric nurse. Her personal experience with

severe health challenges, led her to expand her healing practice to exclusively using

integrative, holistic healing modalities. Janine empowers you on your journey of

becoming the expert on your body, emotions, and purpose, helping you overcome

fatigue to regain energy and spark in your life to live a zestful, confident, fulfilled lifestyle.

Contact Janine at jaro@tiscali.co.za.

Vlog: Wellness

The definition of wellness according to The World Health Organization is, "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."

What can you do to increase your wellness, your well-being?  Here are some ideas:

• be honest with yourself and others--if your friends can't understand your having to cancel plans, if your spouse resents your medical costs, if you just can't take your boss's attitude anymore, consider ending those relationships and finding new, more supportive ones.  Look inside and really think about it first, though.  Do what feels right for you and your health and well-being.
• be you--with no apologies!  You don't have to be rude to be real.  Just simply be yourself!
• keep up with your health maintenance--you need your health is thrive!
• maintain healthy relationships with your family, friends, coworkers, boss--everyone in your life--surround yourself with positive, supportive people who "get" you and challenge you in a good way.  They are your cheering section and have your back at all times.
• get regular wellness exams--super important!
• think outside the box:  Yes!  Explore, do stuff your own way, be different, celebrate new ideas and ways of doing things
• be creative--Yes!  Creative, expand your world, again, think of new ideas, refreshing ideas that make your heart sing, get involved in projects that you can disappear into, that you love!
• challenge yourself--Yes!  A good challenge is amazing to spark a sense of well-being!  You can do anything you set your mind to!
• expand your mind--think, learn, grow, experience different things, be open to different experiences!
• live by your values--be true to yourself and what you believe in!
• help out in your community--volunteer, make speeches, do outreach, spread awareness
• make a difference in a person's life--this can be big, small, somewhere in the middle.  Anything and everything counts and could make a huge impact on that person's life!
• care for your environment--your immediate environment at home, your town, your state, your country, the world.  That's up to you.  To make a difference is a great way to boost wellness!
• get good sleep--getting those zzzz's can make a huge difference in how you view your life and well-being!
• exercise regularly--Move!  Yes, keep moving and getting strong and boosting your mood and increasing flexibility!  There are so many benefits to regular exercise!  Do what you can.  There are all levels of exercises.  Pick the fun and doable ones, but also remember to keep challenging yourself as they become easier.
• eat healthfully--Yes!  Definitely eat healthy foods.  That doesn't mean you have to nix your favorite snacks.  Just make healthy eat a priority and have those treats now and then.

These are just some of the ways you can increase wellness.  Can you think of others?

I'd also like to talk about an article I read that I absolutely freakin' love!  It's called "Can Disability, Chronic Conditions, Health and Wellness Coexist?" by June Issaacson Kailes, MSW and LCSW.  It appears on the National Center on Health, Physical Activity and Disability (nchpad.org) website.  The following are just a few points made:

• A new definition of health where it is viewed as multi-dimensional and that optimal health is seen as defined within a given person's unique circumstances.
• Health is viewed as the maximizing of one's potential along various dimensions--balancing physical, social, emotional, spiritual and intellectual factors. 
• Under this definition, disability is not a roadblock to maximizing health and potential.  

How cool is that?!!  You can do anything you want to within your capabilities.  No comparison to athletes, or "normal" people.  You do the best you can within your abilities.  You compete with yourself and no one else.  You are healthy!  

The article also poses questions needing to be addressed regarding exercise for people with disabilities, such as:

• Where people with disabilities go for fitness information that is relevant to their needs
• How should we exercise?
• How much?

Further, the article states that people with disabilities need:

•  exercise guidelines that are age and function-limited-sensitive
• universal equipment!!!!!  This equipment would be for everyone!!!  I am short so when I went to the gym there were machines that I couldn't use because I couldn't reach them, or even the recumbent bikes that, while low, were long so I could reach the pedals even after making adjustments.

I encourage you to read the article.  There is so much cool information in it.  I hope it's helpful to you.  

So!  Are you committed to wellness?  What are you going to do to increase wellness in your life?  What are you doing already from the list above?  Celebrate that!  I would love to hear what you're doing, and what your plans are, and what you think of the article.  

Email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com, or comment below.

Now, I may have a guest blogger on Friday.  If not, that will happen soon.  And, I will see you back here next week.  Have a great weekend and take care.

Vlog: When Plans Change and People Disappoint

Happy Monday!  I hope you had a great weekend.  Today's vlog post is about when plans change and people disappoint.  It's hard to handle, but those things happen.  

How do you react to that?  Do you fly off the handle?  Do you keep your cool?  Do you communicate with the person that you are disappointed and let them tell their side of the story as well, in a calm and respectful manner?  

And, what if you promise something that you can't deliver?  What do you do then?  Do you make excuses?  Do you apologize?  Do you make an effort to make things right?  Apologize, and move on.  Don't beat yourself up about it.  

Trust is a must within relationships, friendships, and at work.  If you have no trust, you have nothing.  If the trust is there, you have a chance to mend fences.  If it's not, then there is little chance of mending anything.  You need to be able to trust others and yourself.  

Communication is key to remedying the situation, whatever it is.  Open up.  Take the person aside and talk honestly and fairly about your beef.  Let that person have a say as well.  Really listen.  Clear the air.

If this person is a great friend, or you generally have a great marriage, or you really love your job, for the most part, it's worth tackling the problems head-on and trying to come to a peaceful and satisfying solution.  Really work at it.  

Now, if you communicate and you talk yourself blue in the face and nothing changes, then you may consider drastic action such as quitting your job, ending your marriage, or cutting that family member out of your life.  But, again, those are drastic measures which should happen only as a last resort.  When you have done all you can and the hurt won't leave, and you can't get past what the person did to you, even while the help of a professional, then consider leaving the marriage, the job, the friendship, or the family member and moving on.  

Have you had experiences like these?  What did you do about it?  Only you can decide which option is best for you.  Think about it, try to work things out, and go from there. 
Please email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or comment below.   

Vlog: Changes Are Coming

Hello!  Today's video talks about changes that are coming to my website, my coaching, the Fostering Friendships Facebook group, and more.  

My website is under construction, but you can still explore it.  Some changes coming to it are more videos, less text, specifically on the home page (Introduction), and bio.  Visit www.acnlifecoach.com.

I have also combined the friendship coaching with the chronic health issues coaching, so now I'm concentrating on one specialty, chronic health issues.  You can still get friendship coaching, and help with self-esteem, identity perception, confidence-building, time-management and a myriad of other issues.  Just contact me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or text me at 435-215-6357 for information or to set up a free 30-minute discovery call to discuss the issues that you would like to tackle, and we can decide if I'm the right coach for you. 

I'm also going to increase my Instagram and Facebook Stories, as well as continue with weekly Facebook Lives on Tuesdays. I will continue to post "Let's Talk," on Fostering Friendships each Thursday.  

Speaking of Fostering Friendships, one of my Facebook groups, it will be getting a new name soon.  I'm going to include chronic health issues in the title somewhere.  If you are already a member, you are welcome to stay.  Visit it at https://www.facebook.com/groups/523574727984988/  And please spread the word about this group and my Spina Bifida Support Group for Friends and Family.  The latter group is doing well.  Engagement is up a bit and membership is as well.  I'm pleased.  Thank you!  Visit this group at  https://www.facebook.com/groups/523574727984988/

My blog has changed as well.  Now I include video and text in each post.  The text isn't a complete transcript of the video but based on it instead.  I may add further information that I didn't include in the video.  You can visit my blog at dream-imagine-believe-achieve.blogspot.com.  

I welcome your ideas for topics to cover on my blog, Facebook Live, Let's Talk, and any other social media.  I want to know what you would like to see, learn about, and experience.  

Have a great weekend.  I'll catch you back here on Monday (not Wednesday as I say in the video.  Whups!  :-)  ).

Vlog: Prescription Costs

Hello!  Happy Monday!  I hope you had a great weekend.  Jim had four days off but I had to work some of those days, so we didn't go out of town.  We had fun on Sunday.  We took a drive into the countryside.  I'd wanted to do that for awhile.  Sunday was the day.  We came across free-range cattle, visited a local reservoir, got to stretch our legs a bit, and enjoyed some great scenery.  I even tested my new balance skills.  Usually, I have to lean against the car or Jim to steady myself to take a photo, but not anymore!  Wheee!  It was a nice way to clear our heads and relax a bit.

Now, onto today's topic:  Prescription costs.  Do you take medication?  Do you take it on a regular basis?  Do you have insurance?  Is your medication covered by insurance?  What if it's not?  Then what?  Does the pharmacy you use have a discount program to help you out with the cost?  Do you go without necessities such as food and heat in order to pay for your medication?  Or, do you go without your medication to pay for other necessities?  

I remember seeing a guy, probably 80 years old, at a pharmacy years ago paying for his prescriptions with his extensive coin collection.  I don't think that should have to happen.  A healthy society is a productive one.  To me, it only makes sense to keep health care costs affordable so people can actually get the help they need to be healthier and more productive.  But health care costs are through the roof.  Prescription costs are through the roof.  It makes no sense.  

Here's an example from my own life:  About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with rosacea, a skin condition that, if left untreated, could lead to blindness.  It took a while to get diagnosed.  I noticed that I had a red face, especially in photos, and couldn't figure out why.  Finally, I went to the doctor and they tried all sorts of things on me.  They thought I had allergies.  Well, then I asked for a referral to a dermatologist.  It was then that I was diagnosed with rosacea.  The gene for rosacea is dormant until something, such as stress, triggers it.  It is most often found in northern Europeans.  That's me.  My mother's family came from Sweden.  

Okay, so I was diagnosed.  Then came the long process of finding a medication that worked to treat it.  Metrogel made me break out.  Another medication that was in pill form dried me out from head to toe and made me itch.  That was out.  Finally, after a lot of trial and error, we tried Finacea.  It was more naturally based--and worked well.  Yay!  But, it costs hundreds of dollars out of pocket for each tube.  Luckily, one tube lasts me a year.  Still, it's a steep price to pay.  Insurance pays little or none, and the pharmacy helps out with their discount, but it's still hundred's of dollars per tube.  That's crazy!

What experiences have you had with prescription and health care costs in general?  Are you handling it okay, or do you find yourself stressed out over it?  Are you going without other necessities in order to pay for your medications?  Here's a link to an article from Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School with examples of ways you can save on prescription medication.  I hope it's helpful to you.

Seven ways to save cash on prescription drugs .

Vlog: Supporting Others Helps You Cope

Hello!  You may be thinking of the title of this blog and saying to yourself, "You have got to be kidding!"  With an already full plate of doctor's appointments, therapy, health maintenance, medication schedules, family obligations and the like, you're probably thinking you have no time to support others.  I get that. 

Potential benefits

But I also understand how much helping others has helped me.  And it can help you as well by:

• boosting your spirits
• helping you forget about your problems for a bit
• giving you a feeling of serving a purpose
• building your confidence
• enhancing and enriching your own life by helping you realize your own possibilities
• making you feel healthier
• making you feel energized

Ways you can help

There are countless ways you can help others.  You don't have to do anything huge.  Every little thing you can do to support someone in need helps.  Start small and see how it goes, then build on it as you see fit.  Here are some options I came up with.  Some I've done, others I haven't.  You may want to::

• help tutor a neighbor's child
• volunteer at a local school, church, animal shelter, community event
• talk with friends who are going through chemo, dialysis, physical therapy or another issue--be their sounding board
• volunteer at a hospital--read to children, deliver flowers, work at an information desk
• start or join a support group connected to your specific health issues--cancer, MS, arthritis, diabetes, people who have an ostomy
• go into the healthcare field--nurse, doctor, Xray tech, counselor, coach, secretary at a clinic, scheduler for a doctor's office, bookkeeper for a therapist

What else can you think of?  What are you willing to try?  Think of what you'd like to do then take the first step toward putting it into action, and build on it from there.  I'd love to hear what you decide to do.  Let me know how it goes.  You can email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or comment below.  Thanks!  I'll catch you back here on Monday.  Have a great weekend!

Vlog: Super Bowl Aftermath

Happy Monday!  Did you watch the Super Bowl yesterday?  Did you have or go to a watch party?  I did.  This video is about how we balance our health needs and socializing.  Something I didn't mention in the video is getting enough sleep prior to the event.  Sleep is so important if we're going to socialize and have fun.  It keeps up healthy, energized, and better able to enjoy the festivities.  Also, pace yourself.  Don't try to go go go through the week right up to the party.  Give yourself rest breaks, chill time.  And prep everything ahead of time that you need to bring, whether it's food or a bag of medical maintenance supplies.  Anything you'll need for the time you'll be out.  

Any other suggestions?  Comment below or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  Catch you back here on Wednesday.  Take care.

Vlog: Are You Tired Of People?

Are you tired of people?  I mean, the nitpicking, not showing up?  Assuming you can't do anything because you walk differently or use a wheelchair?    Friends falling off the radar?  And, what can you do about it?  That's what I'm talking about in the video above.  

What are your experiences with people that just grate on your nerves?  And, what have you done to remedy the situation?