|Walking through the sprinklers in the park.|
Monday night, I started bleeding. I won't go into the gory details, but it was more than a teensy bit of blood. And it wouldn't stop. I am usually pretty calm when it comes to medical stuff; health-related stuff. I've lived in the medical world my entire life. Most things don't freak me out.
Except blood. And especially, bleeding that doesn't stop.
Even Jim was like, um, you need to go to the InstaCare, and he is usually the "wait and see what happens" type.
I get to the InstaCare at the hospital and explain what's happening. A doctor is consulted. It's a 3-hour wait, and they aren't even sure they can handle my situation. So, we decide that I should go to the ER. I'm asked if I would like someone to wheel me over there in a wheelchair.
Um, no thank you. I can walk.
Okay, we get to the ER. They've been briefed by InstaCare already and are waiting for me. I'm led to a room where they take my vitals, ask what's up, and review my meds. Then, I'm told to wait in the waiting room. Although the wait isn't extraordinarily long, it's long enough for the stupid bleeding to stop.
Sure, yes, that's a good thing. But it means that I basically went there for nothing. If I had waited at home for 15 minutes, it would have probably stopped. But when it comes to blood, I act first and ask questions later.
I left the ER after about two hours with instructions on what to do if the bleeding started up again--wait 15 minutes, if the bleeding hasn't stopped, contact the doctor or return to the ER-- and a referral to a surgeon to look further into the matter.
I was a nervous freakin' wreck! We didn't get home until close to midnight. I was exhausted but didn't sleep well because I was wondering if I would wake up in a pool of blood. Luckily, Jim stayed home from work most of Tuesday to keep an eye on me. I did not want to be alone. Jim only left for a couple of hours leaving me with strict instructions to stay put in bed until he got back. I did have more bleeding that day, so I was glad he was home during that time.
But that was it. Negligible bleedling since then. That doesn't mean I didn't spend the week worrying. I'm good at worrying.
What a waste of the week! It really ticked me off that, after such a productive start, I was screwed the rest of the week because of this stupid bleeding that turned out to be nothing.
Great, it was nothing. But I am so sick and tired of having one thing after another come up to mess with my productivity, my progress, my work, living my freakin' life! This year I have been battling lots of health issues: shoulder and knee injuries coming back to haunt me, foot issues, one cold after another, sleep issues, a kidney function scare (that turned out fine, too, by the way)--enough already.
I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of doctors, tests, sicknesses, having trouble with mobility because of this stupid knee pain, being told to exercise and then having the knee hurt even worse afterwards, having trouble losing weight because I can't freakin' move without pain, having trouble losing weight because I am resorting to comfort food eating because I'm frustrated about not being able to move and lose weight. Get the picture? Not a happy camper, here.
All this has led to me being down lately. Actually, feeling down a lot this year so far. But this week it hit me especially hard.
But I have a pretty awesome support unit. I found comfort in talking with friends, rather than chowing down on junk food, ironically. (Finally, junk food didn't come into the picture. I haven't had any all week!) And, walking. It has provided some much-needed stress relief. The other night Jim and I went for a walk through the sprinklers in the park. Something gave just then. Something clicked. I was suddenly in a playful mood. I love those friends and I love those sprinklers.
What helps you get through the tough times when health issues just about drive you crazy or send you reeling in despair? Who are your go-to people who are always there for you when you need them? What activities do you do to get out of a funk? Shoot me an email or leave a comment and let me know. Thanks. Take care.