Vlog: How Do Health Issues Influence Your Decisions?

How do your health issues influence your decisions?  

I came up with a list of areas in life where health issues may play a part in decision making.  Maybe you can relate, or maybe you have other areas of concern and influence that I haven't mentioned here.  Let me know.  I'd love to hear about them.

Home:

• Where to live:  type of structure, apartment, assisted living, house, climate that's best for your allergies, etc.
• Close to doctors/hospitals
• Wheel-chair accessible
• No stairs, one-story, ramps installed
• Security
• Convenient parking

School:

• The major/program you choose
• Location
• Accessibility
• Campus support
• Proximity to doctors/hospital
• Clubs available
• Campus community vibe:  accepting, friendly, helpful, positive

Job:

• Accessibility of the facility/office
• Discrimination
• Convenient location
• Convenient parking
• The vibe you get from the interviewer/staff
• The type of job you want to do:  do you want to help people in the health field, or do you spend enough time in doctor's offices and hospitals already.  There are other ways you can help others, though, so you may want to think about it.

Relationships:

• Friendships:  Who do you connect with?  Who treats you like everyone else?  What about the accessibility to local hangouts and social clubs?  Can you get to where you can meet new people and also hang out with current friends to encourage bonding?What's your attitude toward others?  What are their attitudes toward you?  Do you hang out with people who are different from you and maybe not all that nice just because they are popular?
• Romance:  Do your health issues influence who you marry/partner with?  Do they really "get" you?  Do you get positive vibes from them?  Are they compassionate and understanding?  Do you have the same lifestyle?  Do they have health issues, too, or not?  Do you want kids?  Do they?  Do you share the same hobbies and interests?

Activities:

• What sports do you like?  Is that connected to your health issues
• What about the books that you read?
• Games you play?
• Where you travel, or if you travel at all?
• Where you go for walks/wheels?
• Accessibility
• Attitude:  Yours and that of others
• Maybe you check things out beforehand to see if you can handle them.  Have a practice run at an activity.  Check out the facilities.
• Do you ask your doctor before you try an activity?

Family:

• Do you want to be near them in case you have a medical emergency and need their assistance?
• Do you want to be far away from them because they have always sheltered you and made you feel like you couldn't do anything on your own?
• Have they fostered your independence?
• How has that influenced your decisions and decision-making skills?

Vlog: Incontinence

First, my apologies for posting this a day late.  Sometimes days just get away from me.  Now, on to today's topic.

Incontinence.  It's not the most comfortable topic to talk about; that's why I'm talking about it today.

Some people with chronic health issues are incontinent.  And there could be a lot of things that come up because of it, that can put a damper on your doing what you want to do.

Some things to consider:

• You have to know where the bathroom is.
• You may not feel comfortable going certain places or doing certain things because you may not have access to a bathroom.  For example, some tour buses, unfamiliar cities, going on hikes in the backcountry.
• You may not want to tell your friends and strangers about your ostomy so it's hard to travel or stay with them.
• What if you have an accident?
• Do you have a urostomy, ileostomy, colostomy or nephrostomy?  I have an ileostomy and I've had a temporary nephrostomy in the past.  What if your appliance/pouch leaks?  That's fun, let me tell ya.  

So, how can you live a full life with an ostomy or incontinence?

You get out there and do stuff.  Try things.  Yes, you may have an accident.  But maybe you won't.  Maybe you'll be embarrassed.  But maybe you won't.  t's frustrating, yes, but let me ask you, which would you rather do:

• get embarrassed a time or two while out exploring your world, or
• stay cooped up in your home staring at the wall feeling "safe" but unfulfilled?

I've traveled all over the country and world with an ostomy. I married a travel-aholic.  Where he goes, I go, if I ever want to see him.  Haha.  We don't travel nearly as much as we did when we were first married and for a stretch of years after that, but we still travel now and then. I've been padded down by security because of my ostomy--that is just what happens.  I deal with it.  They have to be certain it's not a bomb or something.

Here's what I do before/during an outing/trip:

• Take supplies you'll need to maintain your ostomy
• I bring everything but the kitchen sink with me, basically.  People wonder why I have such a large handbag--it's actually a backpack.  It's because I come prepared for everything.  If I'm prepared, nothing goes wrong.
• I research areas we are going to visit to make sure I know the lay of the land, amenities, where the bathrooms are, how long the trails are, are those trails easily accessible and fairly smooth, and so on.
• I take my medications on time (mostly).
• I spend the time I need in the morning and in the evening in order to get ready.  I make sure all is well and I'm ready for the day or night.  It takes a chunk of time, but it's worth it not to be rushed.
• If I don't feel right, I don't go on an outing or trip.  Those things happen.  It stinks, but I have to go with my gut and do what's best for my health and safety.
• Send medical supplies ahead to your destination so you don't get hung up in security explaining everything.  When Jim and I were set to travel out here to Utah to check it out for a possible move, I had a nephrostomy.  So, I had all this stuff I had to bring with me to irrigate it and otherwise maintain it.  The ostomy nurse I saw locally was the one who suggested I send the irrigation supplies ahead since, even though it was medical supplies, I may have trouble getting through security with all that liquid and such.  She had flown shortly before we planned to and had to hand over some items.  It just saves a lot of headaches to send supplies ahead.  And, call the local pharmacies, hospitals, and medical supply companies to see if you can get supplies at your destination.  That would save even more grief especially if your supplies are lost in the mail.

I remember one time when I was visiting a friend at his work out of state.  One of the first things he did was tell me where the restrooms were.  Maybe he saw me looking around a bit for them.  Anyway, I loved it!  Surround yourself with people who "get" you, who understand what you need sometimes before you even have a chance to say anything.  As for the complainers?  Maybe they don't belong in your life.  Only you can decide that.

Something else I wanted to mention---a few years ago now, I think, I read that people with ostomies were starting to wear bikinis, maybe Speedos, too, I don't know.  Their ostomy and pouch were visible.  I personally wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, but if you do, go for it.  Be you, without apologizing!

I encourage you to try new things, go new places, hang out with loved ones and friends--live!  Try not to be tied so much to your health and your home.  There is so much out there for you to experience.  Start small, but do it, and expand upon it as you feel more comfortable.  Each time you venture outside your comfort zone, you will gain a bit more confidence.  And, with that confidence, well, you can do anything, go anywhere, live the most amazing life of your choosing.  Get started!

Vlog: The Frustrations Involved With Taking Care Of Others Who Don't Listen

• You have health issues
• You take time to care for yourself
• You take time to make your doctor appointments and go to them
• You follow doctor's orders
• You put up with surgeries, recovery, therapies
• You take your medication
• You do what you are supposed to do 
• You work your life in around your medical stuff/ health maintenance
• You ask your family what you can do for them.  You do it and they don't seem to appreciate it.
• They don't seem to latch onto concepts or tool that you share with them, even though they were open to discussion.

Okay, true, everyone has a right to their own opinion.  Not everyone is going to agree with you.  They don't have to.  I'm talking about hitting a brick wall with them over and over again.

• You spend energy and time you really don't have on others.  

You have lots to do for your health maintenance, you may not have a lot of energy to spare to do the things you're doing for others, but you do them.  You somehow fit it all in.  And, they never take notice!

• You exhaust yourself by giving yourself and your energy and your time to others yet they don't have time for you.

You do what others want you to do.  You go where they want to you to go.  Yet, when you want them to do something, you hit that wall, over and over again.

• You also try to help but are ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed, maybe.

Particularly about medical stuff, perhaps.  You've got all this experience with chronic health issues, managing your health care, doing what needs to be done, yet when you try to give advice or even are asked for advice on a health matter, you are ignored.  Your friend or loved one doesn't listen.  They do the exact opposite of what they should, in fact.  

Is it worth it?  Is it worth it to care if they don't seem to?

Only you can answer that.  Only you know you're individual situations.  Only you know that particular person you're dealing with.

I have mentioned "The Four Tendencies," by Gretchen Rubin before.  The four tendencies are Obliger, Questioner, Rebel, and Upholder.  I am an obliger.  I have trouble meeting my inner expectations yet I meet outer expectations more easily.  I'm a helper, so that's not surprising.  But when I help, help, help, oblige, oblige, oblige, and get nowhere, get stonewalled, then I turn into a Rebel.  Rebels don't meet either inner or outer expectations.  I just stop obliging those who stonewall me in my personal life.

In my work as a coach, I also oblige, gladly.  I love helping others.  But I also have to be honest with the client who isn't showing up for sessions, isn't involved, isn't trying to help themselves.  I have to ask them what's holding them back.  I have to ask them if they feel that I'm not the right coach for them.  And I have to ask them if maybe they would work better with another coach, or even a counselor or psychologist.  It would be irresponsible of me to keep coaching someone who is clearly not getting anything out of the sessions.  

So, do you have people in your life who don't listen to you?  Do you struggle to oblige them without getting anything in return?  

Vlog: Service Dogs/Assistance Dogs

Service dogs can provide help to people with vision problems, hearing problems, and other disabilities.

Do you have one?

Do you need one?

Are you contemplating getting one?

I looked up the law and it didn't require a vest for the dog.  I thought that was odd.  It would seem that people would have less trouble with a service animal being in a store or restaurant if the animal was obviously a service animal.  Otherwise, anyone could say the animal was a service animal and it could simply be their pet that they didn't want to leave alone at home or in the car.

The Americans with Disabilities Act states that people with disabilities are allowed public access rights for their specially trained assistance dogs.  Anywhere. 

There are rules, though.

•  the dog must be well-behaved and under control, on a leash or harness
• the dog must be well-groomed
• the person is responsible for the dog including cleaning up any messes, keeping the dog under control, and paying for any damage the dog does
• the dog must be trained to perform one or more tasks for the person

Business owners are allowed to ask only two questions of a person with a dog coming into their business:

• Is that your pet?
• What does the dog do for you?

What business owners can't ask:

• What is your disability?
• For proof of disability
• For proof of where the dog was trained

How to get a service dog

• Get a letter from your doctor stating that you are disabled under the American Disabilities Act.
• You need to know what you need help with so the dog can be specifically trained for that purpose.
• You must be willing to wait for the dog to be trained.
• Pay about $25,000 for a professionally trained dog.  You can train your own dog, too, though.

Emotional support dogs

• Can live with you in housing where dogs aren't allowed without paying an extra fee.
• Can fly with you without additional fees.
• Any dog can be an emotional support dog and they don't have to be specially trained.
• It's a good idea to get a vest or tag, though, to save the hassle of explaining the dog's presence everywhere you go.
• Some conditions you can have a support dog for are: anxiety, phobias, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts/tendencies.
• Consult your doctor for information on how to go about getting an emotional support dog.

More information:

• Even if a business posts a "no pets" sign, service dogs are allowed.
• Business owners cannot charge a maintenance fee for allowing the dog to enter.
• The dog isn't required to wear a vest, but it is recommended 
• https://www.officialservicedogregistry.com/register-your-emotional-support-dog/

What do you think of the fact that emotional support dogs don't have to be trained?  I think that's kind of odd.  I wouldn't want just any dog in the store.  If they don't like the scent of someone, or another trained dog comes along, the untrained dog could cause a lot of trouble.

Vlog: Trying To Lose Weight When You Have Chronic Health Issues

To lose weight, you need to take in fewer calories than you burn off.  That's it.  The healthy weight loss rate is one to two pounds per week.  Yes, that may seem minuscule, but it really isn't.  There are 3500 calories in each pound of fat.  In a year, you could lose, if needed, 52-104 pounds!  Those measly couple pounds don't seem too shabby now, do they?  To lose weight more efficiently, do the following in concert with each other: 


EXERCISE

• First of all, contact your doctor or medical team to see if you can exercise, what exercises you can and can't do, any limitations or contraindications and so on.  Everyone is different, so you need to ask.  And, you need to start exercising s
• Then, pick the exercises that are fun for you.  If they're enjoyable, you may have an easier time sticking to your workouts.  You may include strength, endurance, flexibility, stabilization, body weight, and balance exercises in your workout program.  The type, duration, intensity, number of days per week done, sets, and repetitions are dependent upon your specific health condition.
•  From those exercises that are fun, choose exercises you can do physically. 
• Get exercise equipment to use at home.  Look for sales at sporting goods stores and discount stores locally and online.  Buy what is right for you:  dumbbells, exercise bands, a treadmill, an arm/hand cardio machine, steppers, weighted balls, etc.
• Join a gym/fitness center.  Exercise classes and equipment can also be found at senior centers.
• Another option is to work with a certified personal trainer in their own studio, at a gym, or at a fitness center.
• Exercise with friends or family for the fun and accountability of it.

NUTRITION

Nutrition has a huge part in weight loss.  Calories in<Calories out=Weight loss.  Exercise is also important for flexibility, endurance, and generally good physical health, but you can't out-exercise a bad diet.

Here are some tips to help you get your food intake in gear:

• Eat lean protein, complex carbs, healthy fats, veggies and fruits, healthy snacks
• Drink plenty of water  (this goes for when you're exercising too.  Stay hydrated!)
• Check with your doctor or medical team regarding any foods you shouldn't eat.  Anything that would increase your symptoms or your problems with the chronic health issues.
• Consult ad register dietitian for advice on meal plans and how to eat for your chronic health issues and weight loss.
• Eat smaller portions.
• Eat slowly and mindfully.
• When cravings come along, don't act on them right away.  Wait a bit and distract yourself with a walk/wheel, a phone call to a friend, anything to get your mind off the craving long enough for it to disappear.
• Eat when you're hungry and leave the table when you are satisfied, not super full.
• Take time for healthy meals:  planning them, buying for them, cooking them, serving them, and eating them.  Make it a celebration!

Stress relief is also an important part of weight loss.  If you're nervous and stressed, you may go for sugary comfort foods more often thanks to increases in the stress hormone, cortisol.  Relieve stress with strategies such as increased communication with friends and loved ones, meditation, talking with your doctor about things that are troubling you, going to a counselor, and practicing time management.

Also, get plenty of sleep.  Everyone's different but go for 7 to 9 hours each night.  Sleeping too much or too little can affect appetite-stimulating hormones ghrelin and leptin.

For more information check out these links:

Mayo Clinic:  Is Too Little Sleep A Cause of Weight Gain? 

WebMD:  Can Stress Cause Weight Gain?

Sleep Foundation:  https://sleepfoundation.org  

NCHPAD.org:  Physical Activity Guidelines for Adults with Disabilities

How to Work With Cients Who Have Chronic Conditions.(This is geared toward personal trainers, but has a lot of information on exercise guidelines for various health issues, so I thought it might be helpful)

Nutrition.gov  www.nutrition.gov/nutrtion-and-health-issues

Vlog: Hosting Visitors When You Have Chronic Health Issues

When you are hosting overnight guests, you have things to do:

• Clean the house and keep it clean
• Entertain
• Cook extra food
• Play tour guide

You may also feel as if you need to be "on," up, positive, and happy the whole time.

Do you get nervous?  Love it?  Hate it?

Do you find yourself wishing for the visit to be over?  Or, do you wish they would buy a house in your neighborhood so they would have their own place to live nearby so you could see them more often?

Do you usually have a great time?

Do you talk openly about your medication schedules, mobility issues, tiring easily, food allergies, other issues?

Do you hide your medical supplies, medication, etc.?

Do you dread the thought of getting sick during their visit?  Maybe your ostomy pouch leaks on an outing?  Or you have bowel or bladder problems?  Maybe you're arthritis flares up just as they arrive so you have no choice but to back out of a planned activity?  Similar, maybe you have chronic fatigue and are just too tired to take part in the festivities?  Do you worry constantly for days or even weeks before their arrival; during their stay; and will you even worry afterward, wondering if you were just a nuisance?

Ah yes, I've been there. 

So, how do you handle it?

• Set boundaries
• Take naps 
• Be honest about your needs as much as possible.
• Make meals ahead of time.
• Ask your guests to pitch in to help out with the dishes, laundry, and other tasks.

If these people are close enough to you to stay in your home, then they should understand.

I don't generally worry about guests coming to our house.  Everything I need is here, I get food I can eat, I have my doctor's nearby, and so on.  It's when I go away that things get a bit tricky.  When we visited our exchange student and family last year, I told them what I could and couldn't eat, and other particulars.  They were fantastic!  Our exchange student even remembered the milk that I drink and asked her mother to buy it, which she did!    I worried that I would get sick.  My best friend said, "You won't."  And I didn't!  

At least not until I got home.  Sigh.  But at least I was healthy on the trip.  That was the important thing.  I was busy, happy, exploring new places, meeting new people.  When I got home, I realized how tired I was and ended up getting sick.  But it was a great trip and I was glad I went.

How do you react to visitors?  Do you love welcoming people into your home?  Or dread it?  Have you gotten sick on trips?  Have you had health snafus happen while you hosted guests?  Let me know.  

Vlog: Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

I got to thinking about self-esteem and self-confidence the other days.  I've heard them used interchangeably but felt as if they weren't quite the same.  I was right.

Self-esteem is:

• how you generally feel about yourself
• how much you like/love yourself
• your overall view of who you are
• influenced by past experiences and the surroundings you were raised in
• influenced by family, school, friends, and community

How can you improve it?

• surround yourself with positive people who believe in you
• look inside and come to terms with your past
• leave unhealthy relationships
• forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made
• be good to yourself (exercise, eat healthfully, get good sleep)
• do things you enjoy (hobbies, sports, interests)
• write down things you like about yourself
• learn something new (take classes, listen to podcasts, etc.)
• do what you love and are good at for work
• realize you are good enough
• stop blaming others for what they have done to you
• stop worrying about what others think
• stop trying to please others
• say no to things you really don't want to do.  Say yes to what makes your heart sing
• stop trying to compete with others.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  Concentrate on your goals, no one else's.
• live your life your way without apology

Sef-confidence is:

• how you feel about your abilities
• how you view your capabilities to do things and handle a job or emergency, for example

You may be more confident at skiing than working with computers.  Or, dancing versus math.  Or, driving may not be one of your strengths, but you are an excellent speaker.

How can you improve self-confidence?

• get out of your comfort zone
• try something that scares you a little
• test yourself
• try a new job--maybe volunteer there first to see if you like it
• hang out with positive people who will challenge you in a good way
• boost your independence
• become your own advocate

The more you challenge yourself--step out of your comfort zone--the more you will become comfortable doing these new things and making decisions.  Building self-confidence self-esteem!

How do you building your self-esteem and self-confidence?  Who in your life has helped you do so?  

Vlog: Sitting On Symptoms

Hi!  I hope you had a nice Easter yesterday.  How was it?  Ours was quiet.  Just the two of us this year.

Yesterday also was April Fool's Day.  We didn't play any pranks on each other, though.  How about you?  Did anyone play a prank on you;  did you play a prank on someone else?

Has humor helped you handle your health issues?  If so, how?  I have always tried to find the funny in hospital stays, doctor's visits, life in general.  I have to admit, although I do have a sense of humor and like to find the funny in chronic health issues, I do tend to be serious.  Slapstick, juvenile humor and the like just annoy me.  I love poker-faced humor and great comedic timing.  

Something else I want to talk about today is sitting on symptoms.  You have mysterious symptoms.  Or maybe symptoms that you've had before.  You know what's going on in your gut.  You may think, "Oh no, not again."

Yet, you don't take action.  You don't do anything about it, whether it's mysterious or it's happened before.  

You get more and more nervous, grouchy, tired.  The more that happens the worse the situation gets.

You may try to solve the problem on your own.  Try what worked before, perhaps.  Eat differently.  Take vitamins.  Get more sleep.  But it doesn't work.

I've been there.

So, what should you do?

• Take time out to see your doctor.  I don't care how busy you are with work, home, school, kids....get to your doctor.
• Take time to rest
• Take your medications on schedule.  If you haven't been diligent about that, it could be messing with your system.  
• Be good to yourself.  If you make a mistake, if you haven't had the problem checked out, don't beat yourself up about it.  We all mess up sometimes.  Concentrate on now.  Not what you've done in the past; what you're doing now.  Take care of the issue now.  Be good to yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Take positive action.
• Find the answers.  Finding the answers could help you feel better and able to live your life more fully, healthfully, happily.  You could be living a more fulfilling life.  
• Get on it!