L.I.F.E.

Hi all!  I've been thinking of what great qualities I value in life and came up with these.  Here's the acronym for you:

L=Listen:  How many times to you sit quietly and just listen to your body?  Do you know what it really needs?  Does it need sleep?  Exercise?  A vacation?  A check up?  And, do you take the time to really listen to those in your life--their views, concerns, who they really are, and what they really want from you and their lives?  Or, do you concentrate more on what they can do for you?  We can learn so much from having the patience to listen instead of jumping in to counter someone else's view or cutting off someone to show that we "are more superior" than they are.  Finally, do you listen to your surroundings?  Are you aware that the birds are singing outside?  Do you stop to notice kids squealing with laughter as they play in the park near your apartment building?  Listen, learn, and love yourself, others and the world around you.

I=Inspire:  To inspire is to make someone want to do something or feel something.  Inspire to be inspiring!  What a wonderful gift it is to hear that you are an inspiration to someone.  But, you may wonder how to go about being inspiring.  A good way to start is to live your life naturally.  Be real.  Live your true life every day; one in which you are authentic, kind, giving, forgiving, strong, and motivating toward yourself and others.  You may face a chronic illness with humor and determination.  Or, you may write songs, books, or short stories that cut right to the heart of what others are going through, helping them cope.  You may also be the person in the neighborhood who is always ready with a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, an ear to listen, or a funny story to cheer others up.  Inspiration is different for all of us.  Be the difference--make a difference.

F=Forgive:  It can be very easy to hold onto grudges, past hurts, and misunderstandings.  But by doing this, we risk emotional and physical pain.  Refusing to let go of these feelings is not good for our health, no matter how much we try to justify it.  It festers and gets blown way out of proportion.  It serves no real purpose.  Forgiveness, on the other hand, frees us from the burden of keeping all the anger, resentment, fear, and pain inside.  It allows us to heal the wounds caused by the dispute and move on.  Make an effort to personally forgive those who have hurt you.  If traveling to meet with them is not possible, write them a heart-felt, honest letter.  If they have passed on or you don't know how to reach them, still write the letter and keep it in your journal or somewhere else that is private.  There is no need to share it with anyone.  This is between you and those who have hurt you alone.

E=Explore:  If there is one thing that I wish I'd done through the years it's to have explored more often.  I spent my childhood pretty much afraid of getting hurt and trying new things.  I didn't like going places on my own, or joining in activities with other kids.  I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it; that I wouldn't fit in.  Well, then Jim came along.  He loves to explore!  We have traveled all over the country and the world, experiencing things I never thought I'd ever see or be a part of.  We made that move across the country that I have talked about before, gotten involved in community, and made many good friends.  Although I still like my alone time and I've become quite the homebody, I have learned, changed, and grown a lot over the past 20 or so years.  Never give up a chance to explore your world.  It could be your neighborhood, your city, your county, your country, or the world at large.  Whatever feels right, whatever you're curious about, set out to discover more about it.  You're apt to learn a little something new about yourself in the process.

Do you listen, inspire, forgive, and explore?  If so, how has it enriched your life?  What other qualities of life can you substitute in this L.I.F.E. acronym that apply to you?  Let me know.  Feel free to email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or leave a comment below.  Thanks! 

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Letting Go

Throughout our lives we experience different types of loss.  It's difficult, no matter how we handle it, but learning to cope with it more effectively can make it more bearable.  In all cases, make time for yourself, spend time alone to gather your thoughts, and grieve in your own way.  Everyone is different.

Friends:  This could come as a result of a move, differing opinions, or death.  If it's a move that is separating you, arrange to keep in touch via Skype, phone, and social media, as well as in-person visits, as much as possible.  Although it depends on how close you are and how long you've known each other, long distance friendships can suffer if you don't put enough effort into keeping them alive.  If separation is due to differing opinions, make a point to seek out new friends who share your views.  It's not necessary for all your friends to agree with you all the time, but they should share your basic values.  Death of a friend can be jarring to your system.  Take time to remember the good times and what your friend means to you.  Celebrate your friendship by doing something that the two of you used to do together.  Invite other friends to join you or do it by yourself, whatever feels more comfortable.  Whatever you loved to do as a team--flying kites on the beach, reading in the park, eating ice cream at your favorite hang out--do it.  Imagine your friend is with you; she really is.  She's there in your heart and in your memory.

Marriage:  Whether a split is friendly or nasty, it's hard to deal with.  You may have put everything you had into the marriage and now it's gone.  It can be pretty traumatic.  You may feel paralyzed, at a loss as to what to do next.  If you have children together, you may be preoccupied with making sure they feel loved and safe.  Take time to recover.  Spend time with the people you trust and find comfort in the most. Talk, sit in silence, play music, explore a favorite place in nature, even invite them to help you go through your things as you pack up your life for a move.  Or, you may find the most comfort in yourself; that's okay.  If you need to be alone to think, remember the past, visit old haunts, cry, prepare for your new life, make that clear to your loved ones.  You need to do what is right for you; whatever will help you heal.  .

Work:  A loss of a job can be devastating financially and emotionally.  Hopefully you'll receive notice, but regardless, be prepared.  Save as much as you can so you have something to get you through potential tough times.  In today's "stuff"ed" culture, it's easy to be tempted to buy everything you want now, but it's best to resist that temptation and save for that rainy day instead.  You'll be glad you did.  You may not be able to save a ton of money, but even putting away a little each week will help in lean times.  It all adds up.  Also, keep your eyes open for any opportunity to work, no matter what the task.  It may not be in your traditional line of work, but when you're trying to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, pretty much any job will do in a pinch while you're looking for something else more suitable.  Ask everyone you know to keep their eyes and ears open for new opportunities.  You can also volunteer at local organizations; it might even lead to a paying position.  It happens.  Be prepared to live more frugally.  Sell things you don't absolutely need.  Ditch cable, Netflix, and the like. Buy or rent a smaller home, trade in your vehicles for less expensive ones, and if your children attend private school, consider enrolling them in public school or giving homeschooling a try.

Retirement:  This may be a time of joy, but it also can be really tough.  You may have worked all your life at the same company and consider your work mates family.  Or, you might simply love what you do for a living and hate the thought of giving it up.  Something you could consider doing is volunteering at work a couple days a week.  That way it's not such a jar to the system as when you just up and leave for good.  Or, you could volunteer at a totally different place.  You could also take on part-time paid work.  Depending on where you live, your health, your disposable income and the like, there are countless things you could do in retirement to help ease the loss of work and potential feelings of being unneeded or bored.  Take up a sport such as golf or tennis, find a walking buddy, travel, join a support group of other retirees, go back to school to take courses for the fun of it, get to know your neighbors, host an exchange student, write your memoirs for your children and grandchildren, adopt a pet from your local animal shelter, or join a club or committee.  The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

Family:  Whether it's a parent, grandparent, or child, losing a member of your family to death can hit hard.  The mourning process can take a long time, and should take as long as you need to heal.  Go through boxes of mementos, celebrate the good times, join a support group, cry, meditate, even laugh at some silly habit your loved one had.  It is through all these actions that we heal and learn to move on.  I personally don't mourn very long.  Maybe it's because I consider death a part of life.  Or maybe it's because of my medical history.  I have almost died myself a few times.  It could also be that I tend to believe I will meet up with passed loved ones again someday.  I'm not religious, and I don't know much about reincarnation, I admit, but there have been so many accounts of life after death, it is hard for me to discount it as myth.  Besides, it feels good to think that I will meet Dad and others again who have passed.  If it's true, great.  If not, well, I'll find out when the time comes.  It's not something I spend time ruminating over for countless hours.  I remember when my dad passed away, I cried for a short time as Jim hugged me.  The tears were both of sadness and of relief--he'd been in poor health for awhile.  But then I was okay.  He was at peace.  Although I think of him often--his caring, his quirky sense of humor, his funny catchphrases--I've gone on with my life.

Childhood:  Where in the world did it go?  How did I get this old so fast?  Okay no, I'm not old and I don't obsess about getting older.  To me, the fact that I'm getting older is a good thing, otherwise I'd be dead, right?  But still, I do find myself taken aback a bit when I realize just how long ago I graduated from high school.  I still feel as if I'm 18 (well, most of the time), for heaven's sake!  So, why is it that songs from the 1980s are considered "oldies," now?  Oldies?  You've got to be kidding!  The first time I heard an '80s song on an Oldies station I about fell over.  It just can't be!  But, yep, it is.  Childhood was a long time ago for many of us.  To think of it that way, it smarts a little, and it can be scary.  It seems as if you were just on the track team breaking all sorts of records and now your bones snap, crackle and pop every time you try to get out of your favorite easy chair.  Oh, the realities of life suck sometimes.  It's important to key on the present and what you can do, not what you can't.  Participate in activities that you enjoy.  Maybe you can't run track anymore, but try your hand at something else like walking, wheelchair dancing, yoga, table tennis, or golf.  Join clubs associated with your youth (related to a specific music of an era, for example), or dig out old childhood games and give them a go again for the fun of it.  You may have to face the fact that you're a grown up now and even act like it sometimes, but that doesn't mean you can't still be a kid at heart.  Embrace the life you live now, make it fun, and look for fulfilling activities to participate in.

If you find that your feelings of loss are taking over; they're interfering with you getting on with your normal life, seek out the help of a qualified health professional.  Don't deal with this alone long-term.  Honor the loved ones/your childhood that you have lost by getting the help you need so you can live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.  

Self Management

Hi!  I hope everyone had a great weekend or long weekend, whichever the case may have been for you.  I spent some time reading Take Time for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson.  I love it.  I'm up to the point where she discusses where time goes.  She talks about the time management myth and notes, ". . . we can only manage ourselves."

So, it's not time that we need to manage; we need to manage how we go about spending time.  I'm a perpetual list maker and schedule setter.  I mean well, but just can't seem to resist over-scheduling my days and weeks, then I wonder why I can't get everything done.  We only have 24 hours in each day; 168 hours in each week.  It's important to look at our priorities, as Richardson also notes, and make sure we're taking time for the most important people and tasks in our lives.  The book is full of wonderful tips and real life examples of how to make that happen.  One of my favorite tips is to learn to say no.  I admit to saying yes way too much in the past, then wondering how I'm ever going to meet deadlines and expectations.  

What I do is, yes, make lists.  I've also opened up my schedule.  No longer do I cram it full of tasks and meetings that I know I don't have time for.  Okay, well, maybe I still do this on the weekends.   This past weekend was a good example of an overbooked schedule.  Chores, walks, errands, projects.  Both my husband and I made valiant efforts to pack as much into the long weekend as possible, and we really did accomplish quite a bit, I must say.  But really, the best thing to do is to keep weekends clear of cluttered time in favor of quality, relaxed time.  We're still working on that.   But on the week days, I pick the most important ones that I want to concentrate on and fill other less important tasks in the little nooks and crannies of time that present themselves throughout the week.  Sometimes I get distracted by the phone, email, and unexpected interruptions and delays, but so far it's working quite well.  

It's best to first find out what's important to you; what are your priorities, then start planning how to make them a part of your life.  See if you can save money, outsource or ignore the mundane or unimportant tasks, and tear down other road blocks that have stood in the way of making your life the best it can be.

What about you?  Are you a good self manager?  Or do you find yourself frustrated by your crammed schedule?   Let me know.  I'd love to hear from you!

Choosing a Gym

This video is on how to choose a gym.  I hope it's helpful to you.  Let me know what's important to you when choosing where you work out.  I'd love to hear from you.
Comment below, or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  Have a great weekend!

Oh, Show Up!

We've all experienced it; people sometime just don't show up.  These are some of the prime times you might experience no-shows:

• for a meeting
• for a party/dinner
• to help with a project
• to exercise
• to take you to an appointment
• to repair something for you (some of the worst offenders)
• to take you on a date
• for a day out

You also might not hear back from RSVPs.  Usually that means they're not coming, but sometimes they do show up.  And, finally, there are those people who don't return texts, emails, or phone calls. 

All aggrevating, for sure.

So, what to do about this?  Well, if it's the first time the person has blown you off, it's best to forget about it rather than risk tainting relations. Maybe they didn't get your invitation or message.  It could have gotten lost in the mail or in the wilds of cyberspace.  Maybe they had an emergency come up at the last minute and didn't have time to contact you.  Those things happen.

But if it's happened multiple times, consider talking to the person in private about it.  Is there a problem?  Did they get the message?  Was there a mix up on dates?  And if it's a contractor, call him on the carpet about it.  Let him know that no-shows are not tolerated.  Your time is valuable. If this plumber, carpenter, or painter were trustworthy and reliable,  he would have let you know he was going to be late or had to change the day of service.  If he can't make a point to show up on time, how can you trust him to do a good job?  Ditch him.

But, what about friends, relatives, and acquaintances?  It's nice to be understanding--to a point.  But, if someone keeps blowing you off, it's time to distance yourself from that person.  Next time you host a party, leave them off the guest list.  If your date calls you up for yet another chance, say no.  If your usual ride calls at some point, again, and promises to take you to your next appointment, again,  be ready with an alternate driver and decline.  Maybe it will be their wake up call to start acting more responsibly; maybe not.  You'll find out.  

You need genuine, reliable, honest, trustworthy people in your life.  Work hard to make it happen.  Don't settle for people you can't count on--in your personal life or business--just because you'd feel guilty for cutting ties. 

Have you got a "no-show" story to tell?  I'd love to hear it.  Leave a message below or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  You can also contact me via my website: www.acnlifecoach.com.  Take care.

Over-Thinking Part 3: This and That

Here is the third video in the Over-Thinking series.  It covers several different instances when you might over-think.  Hope you enjoy this video and that it's helpful.  Contact me anytime.  I went feedback.

Over-Thinking Video, Part 2: Trips

Here is the second part of the Over-Thinking video.  This one's on trips; especially flying, but the information applies to all modes of travel.  I hope it's helpful.  If you have any questions please contact me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or in the comment section below.  You can also reach me through my website at www.acnlifecoach.com.  Thanks.  Take care.

Over-Thinking, Part 1: Doctor's Visits

Do you over-think about upcoming doctor's appointments?  My latest video offers tips on how to calm your mind.  I hope it's helpful.  

Time Management

Do you find that you don't have enough time for the things you like to do?  Then take a gander at 168 Hours--You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam.  In it, you'll find all sorts of tips to save time and do the things you really want to do.  There are real-life examples throughout.  We each have 168 hours in each week, so even if we work 50 or 60 hours, we still have 108 to 118 hours during the week to do other things  Make sure to set aside time within those remaining hours to do the things you enjoy doing.  

Here are tips, some of which are based on the information in Vanderkam's book:

1.  Look at how you spend your time:  Keep a time diary for a week or two to see how you spend your time.  Do you find that you spend a lot of time watching TV and surfing the Internet?  My husband and I have been watching a lot of DVDs lately of old sitcoms from the 60s and 70s.  We also spend a lot of time online.  Although that's fun and can be relaxing, there's no reason to sacrifice other activities that would potentially bring more joy by spending countless hours staring at a screen.  Cut that time down drastically to find the room in your life for the things that have been sitting on the back burner for weeks, months, or even years.  For us, that has been to start a game night.  We get together once a month to play party/board games with friends.  It has added an important and fun social element to our lives.

2.  Decide what you want to do:  What would you really, really, really like to do?  Choose two or three and set out to find  ways to fit them into your schedule.  Maybe you'd like to spend more time with your children, or take a pottery class, or exercise.  Go for it!  Get out there and do it.  As Vanderkam notes, that last one is a must.  Fit exercise into your schedule so you increase your endurance, you feel better, and you have more energy to take on all the tasks of your day.  I'm exercising more often these days.  I notice a big improvement in my mood on the days I exercise versus the days I don't.  My husband and I are also taking more time to spend with our pets.  We have six cats and a parrot.  We spent a good share of our free time volunteering at animal shelters over the last several years.  While that is important and we loved it, we realized that we weren't spending enough time with our own adopted pets at home.  So we reduced our volunteer time drastically.  Now we only occasionally volunteer.  We hope that when we retire we'll be in good health and able to volunteer somewhere ever day.  That's quite a few years down the road yet, but something we're looking forward to.

3.  Decide what you don't want to do:  We spend a lot of time doing things we think we should do.  Delete 'should' from your vocabulary.  Are you tired of housework?  Do you cringe everytime you're asked to serve on yet another committee?  Are there friends or family members you would rather not see as often?  It's okay to back off.  Listen to yourself and find out what changes you would like to make, then go about making them.  Learn to say 'no' more often, so you have the energy to do the things and spend time with the people that make your heart sing.  I admit I don't spend as much time on household chores as I used to.  When my husband is at work, I work at home.  When he comes home, I spend time with him.  That's also when I tend to do chores too--after work.  Just because I'm home during the day, doesn't mean it's chore time.  It's work time, like it would be for anyone who works outside the home.  

4.  Unclutter your life:  By this I mean, go through and get rid of things in your life that you don't need.  Clutter can dampen your spirits, keep you bogged down, and potentially kill your motivation.  So, this project is a good one to do during the times you used to watch TV and spend glued to the Internet.  Go through your home and get rid of anything you don't use, want, or need anymore.  If you haven't worn something in a year, most likely you won't ever wear it again.  Give it away or pitch it.  Have you saved all your school work, or souvenirs from trips?  It's time to thin them out.  Are you afraid to get rid of anything anyone has ever given you just because it might hurt their feelings?  It's your stuff now; it's up to you what you do with it.  Get a box and go through these things, only keeping the items you truly enjoy and use.  When you're done going through your home, hit your office.  Do you absolutely need every piece of paper, every report, every statement, every knickknack, every email message, every document on your computer, every sticky note, every manual, or every freebie from conferences that fills your work space?  I'm guessing , no.    Spend some time before your work day starts or during your breaks to sort through some of these things.  I'm not saying you should get rid of everything.  Keep the things that are dear to you or that you really need, of course.  Just get rid of the clutter.  

All these things will help save time in the end.  Give them a try and see if they work for you.  I'd love to hear how you decide to make time for what's important to you.  Contact me at amy@acnlifecoach.com or post a message here.  Also feel free to visit my website at www.acnlifecoach.com.  Take care.

Is Eating Everything in Moderation for You?

I used to think eating everything in moderation was the sensible way to go about choosing what went in my mouth.  Then I read Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.  In it, she talks about abstaining and moderating.  In a nutshell, moderators like to indulge in their favorites on a limited basis and consider one cookie a treat and stop there, while abstainers would rather go without any cookies because they know they can't stop at one.  

Well, especially since menopause kicked in several years ago, I've actually been eating like an abstainer who isn't abstaining.  Stop at one cookie or piece of chocolate?  Nope, not going to happen.  Unlike my husband who savors his favorite treats--mostly pastries--making them last, if there are chocolate bars or home-made chocolate chip cookies, or ice cream bars in the house, I will eat them until they are gone.  Actually, my appetite for food in general has increased dramatically since hitting menopause.

So, I've learned that I have got to abstain from eating those things that are the most tempting.  Has it happened?  No.  I'm working my way up to it by only allowing chocolate, etc., on the weekend.  I keep reminding myself that the longer I go without these tempting snacks, the less my body with crave them.  We'll see how successful I am at listening to myself.  

How about you?  Are you an abstainer or moderator?  Is it working for you? Let's talk about it.  I'd love to hear from you.

Juggling Medication

For those of you who take medication, it can be a nuisance to fit them into your schedule, right?  Some interact with each other, so you have to be sure to take those hours apart, while others have to be taken with food, and still others on an empty stomach.  Then there are the meds you have to take first thing in the morning, before anything else hits your stomach.  A few medications, okay, but when you're taking 10, 20, or even 30 pills, powders and potions a day, it can get a bit frustrating, to say the least.  

My husband has gotten into the habit of asking me when I can eat.  I'm on one medication which surrounds all food to help it digest properly.  I have to take it with each meal.  The problem is that it also surrounds vitamins, minerals and other medications, too, possibly reducing their effectiveness.  So, I have to take my medications spaced apart all throughout the day, to make sure it doesn't have a run-in with that particular medication.  Such fun.  One pharmacist told me that it's bad enough when patients have to take one dose of that "surrounding" medication, let alone three per day.  They and my doctors who see my medication list tell me to do the best I can. 

How do you manage your medications?  Do you keep a journal, have a pill keeper, or commit your medication schedule to memory?  I use a pill keeper, which seems to empty out pretty quickly.  Before I know it, I'm sitting at the kitchen table filling it back up again.  It's not that big a deal, really, to fill it, but it's just that it takes time away from the things I'd rather be doing, like reading, exercising, writing my blog posts, and spending time with my husband and furbabies.  

Living your life on your own terms is important.  Don't be a prisoner to your medication schedule.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, wondering how you're possibly going to fit all your medication into your day, seek out some help.  Your pharmacist can tell you which medications may interact with each other or certain foods. You can also ask him to devise a medication schedule for you, so you're sure you're taking them properly.  

Good luck!  Keep in touch.  :-)

The First Four Sessions

Happy Wednesday!  Here's video #2 for you!  It's about the first four coaching sessions in general.  For more information check out my home page  for the different coaching packages and how coaching works.  Feel free to contact me with questions or comments below or at amy@acnlifecoach.com .  Thanks.  Take care!

What Type of Life Coach I Am

Hi all.  Here's my first video post.  It gives you an idea of what type of coach I am, my personality, etc.  I hope you enjoy it.  If you have any questions, just ask!  Hope to hear from you.  Thanks!  Take care.

Discover Your Truth

Happy Monday, all!  I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend.  Today's message is so important.  Always be truthfully, but especially to yourself.  It can be tough sometimes, but in order to live the best life that you can, you need to be true to yourself.   It means finding your true calling; living your life on your terms.  So many times, people will do things and say things to fit it, to seem cool, to belong, not because they really believe in those things.  It's time to be real!  Discover what makes your heart sing, behave according to your values, and live the life of your dreams.  What is your truth?  Get out there and find out!  Good luck.  

When Those Little Things Add Up

If some little thing happens you're not apt to think much of it, right?  But what if one little thing after another little thing, after another, and another happens?  Do you tend to freak out a bit?  You're not alone.  At one point I had the following going on in my life:

• A blister on my foot
• An ornery knee
• An altered exercise routine
• A cat with allergies
• A husband with allergies
• Trouble sleeping
• Pesky cravings 

None were that challenging to deal with individually, but add them up and, yep, not happy.

 But, like it or not, life happens.  Sometimes those little things just build up and up and up and you just have to take a breath and back away a bit. You're okay.  These frustrating things will pass. LIfe will improve. 

So, what did I do to defuse the situation?  .

Blister:  I went to the doctor--a few times.  This wasn't just a tiny bit of skin knocked off the side of my foot.  It was a big black blister courtesy of some new shoes.  I always wear Band-aids on areas of my feet that are susceptible to blistering for awhile when I'm breaking in new shoes.  This time that apparently wasn't enough.  The shoes I'd gotten where slightly narrower than my usual pickings, and I paid for it big time.  The wound wasn't infected--yet.  That developed a bit later, but it began to heal, slowly.

Knee:  I used ice and heat on it, plus massage.  That worked out well.  The pain was pretty much gone by the time I saw the doctor.  I'd had knee issues for years, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.  In the past I'd hyperextended it while walking down a steep hill on vacation in Gibraltar.  It didn't respond well to physical therapy or surgery, but within a month of starting to workout with a trainer in 2007 (6 years after the injury), I had no pain.    I was sold on exercise after that, let me tell ya.  

Exercise:  At first I backed off from exercise to give my blister time to heal, even though the doctor hadn't suggested limiting my activity.  The bandage was a bit thick to start with, so my shoes (the old, ratty ones I had attempted to replace with the narrow ones) felt kind of tight.  I didn't want to make things worse.  After a little break, I began exercising at home to DVDs.  I didn't feel comfortable enough to walk outside.  I didn't want to get a few blocks away and have my foot start hurting.  Anyway, I'd just gotten to the point where I was walking more freely, when I started having spasms in m knee that traveled down into my lower leg.  Lovely.  Couched again.  I was still able to do upper body exercises, though.

Allergies:  We brought the cat to the vet, who put her on children's allergy medication.  We have an enclosed outdoor yard for the cats so they can run around in the grass in safety, and the vet said she could go outside UNLESS she got worse by doing so.  Well, guess what:  She got worse.  So she looked at us in misery as if to say, "What did I do wrong?"  Poor girl.  The allergies are still bothering her.  Back to the vet we go.  As for Jim, my hubby, he got the worse case of seasonal allergies he's ever gotten this year, and a chest cold on top of that.  Over-the-counter medication, a lot of coughing and sneezing, and reminders from me to drink plenty of fluids and get enough sleep--it went on for weeks, but he finally kicked it. 

Sleeping:  I've been having sleep issues for quite some time due to menopause.  It could also be hereditary.  I was doing well if I had six hours sleep, that's how bad it was.  Some nights I didn't sleep at all--literally.  But I finally found the answer--reading.  I read from 30 minutes to 2 hours a night--depending on how interesting the book is.  The more boring the topic, the faster I go to sleep.  Problem solved!  

Cravings:  I love chocolate.  If it's in the house, I hunt it down and eat it.  Since hitting menopause, my craving for chocolate has increased 10-fold, I kid you not.  It's crazy!  I'm a personal trainer, I live a healthy lifestyle, and I enjoy eating healthfully.  But with menopause, all bets are off.  Luckily this has improved over the last few years.  It does get better.  In the meantime, I keep healthy snacks available, give myself a bit of chocolate, don't punish myself if I have more chocolate than I should, and use exercise to keep my stress level down.  

Do your best to find solutions to those little nuisances that get on your nerves.  Some problems might take longer to resolve than others, but work on them bit by bit.  It's better than letting them fester unchecked.  Good luck!

Do you have an experience of little things adding up that you'd like to share?  What did you do to remedy the situation?  I'd love to hear from you.  Email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  Thanks!

Adjusting to Change

Have you ever felt as if you didn't really feel the same anymore?  Like your life was changing and you panic a little?  Change is good; it is healthy.  But it still can be unsettling and a little scary, depending on the nature of the change.

Here are some changes that can shake things up a bit:

 Death of a loved one:  Each person deals with death differently; some people heal right away while others mourn for years.  It depends on how close you were to the deceased, your personality, and other factors.  Whether the death is sudden or at the end of a long illness, it can be difficult to process.  Experiencing an array of emotions, sorting your loved ones' belonging, handling all the phone calls, visits, and funeral details--it can all be exhausting.   

Aging of a parent:  You may like to think that your parents will always be healthy and active, but disease, injury, and the natural process of aging can bring about changes that may shock you.  These changes can happen suddenly as a result of an injury due to a fall, or over time as is the case with Alzheimer's disease.  Suddenly Mom is using a wheelchair to get around, or Dad no longer has much interest in his beloved garden.  And sometimes, depending on the circumstances, the parent comes to live with you.  Despite the fact (and oftentimes because of it) that you care deeply for your parent, caring for him/her 24-7 takes its toll.  It can hit you hard.

A new baby:  The thought of a new baby brings on the warm fuzzies, but it also can spark fear, confusion, and lots of sleepless nights.  Is he eating enough?  Why won't he stop crying?  Am I holding her properly?  What if I drop her?   Your head is spinning with both joy and terror.  If you have other children, you might not be as nervous, but a new baby requires attention.  That requires more time and energy that you need to muster up from somewhere, somehow.  

A new job:  This can be an exciting venture.  You may find yourself more tired out than usual from the stress of learning a new job, dealing with a different route to work, having to leave the house and return home at different times,  dealing with office politics, and the like.  Or you could be energized by this new change. Regardless, it requires an adjustment.   

Health issues:  Maybe you have a long-term illness or new medical condition that takes a copious amount of your time and energy to manage--doctor visits, surgeries, therapy sessions, medication, medication side effects, second opinions, third opinions.  As you get older, more health complications may set in and you just don't know how to cope.  

Remodeling:  Sure, you love the thought of a "new" house, or a "new" kitchen, but, oh boy, when the sawing and hammering start, you begin to wonder if it wasn't such a great idea after all.  Delays, unexpected additional costs, and rude contractors add to the frustration.  By the time the project is done, you're spent, in more ways than one.

Socializing:  You may have a full plate, but you still want to spend time with friends, family, and community service activities.  You squeeze BBQs, birthday parties, card games, and volunteering into an already crammed schedule.  You may start to feel guilty because you forego the latest party to stay home and relax or take the kids camping.  With a society that's continuously moving at warp speed, it's easy to get burned out.  

There's no need to be frightened of change.  It is a natural progression.  Look inside yourself to make sure it is what you want.  If it's different than the norm, that's okay.  As long as it's authentic, natural, gives pleasure, and/or a certain satisfying challenge, go with it.  It's for the best and life will calm down in time.

Instead of mourning the loss of the way life used to be, embrace change and find excitement in the things that are in the works.  Enjoy the adventure.  Learn from it; revel in it.  Cherish the memories of where you came from and what you learned, and welcome the chance to grow.  It's not as if everything you know has to change, but that it's altered is okay.  Let your life changes flow naturally.  Tackle the waves, bumps, and road blocks with determination, humor, and a positive attitude.  

Have you gone through a life change recently?  How did you handle it?  Email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com, or comment below.  Thanks!

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