Vlog: Life Happens

"Life is simple,  Everything happens for you, not to you.  Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late."  Byron Katie

I'm not sure I'd say life is simple because it can be quite difficult at times, but Katie's saying that everything happens for a reason, I do believe.  It' may not be appreciated at the time, it may not be comfortable to go through, but it is not to be resisted.  Resisting just makes things worse.  Remaining in the present and dealing with what happens moment to moment helps resolve issues faster and easier than fighting them or pretending they aren't happening at all.

"Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you." Tony Robbins

Rather than freezing in fear and getting discouraged, use life experiences--good and bad--as a learning experience.  To grow and shine.  To live meaningfully.  To live the life you are meant to live.  To be the person you are meant to be.

For example, when I was born with spina bifida, I wasn't supposed to live past the age of six.  I'm not 56.  While, yes, I have had difficult times over the years, I also made a point to learn as much as I could about my chronic condition and how to care for myself.  I even, a three years of age, explained how to do a cut down, which is when a needle has to be sugically inserted into the vein.  I also learned to care for my foot ulcers at home until I could get to a doctor at a young age.  All sorts of things.  Also, I learned how to "find the funny" as I called it in whatever I was going through healthwise.  Not to make light of a serious situation, but to cope healthily with it.  And, take what I've been through, use spina bifida as a catalyst for empathy and caring for others.  

There is so much division in the world, but there is also lots of love.  You only have to look around you and on the news during this pandemic to find stories of total strangers reaching out to help each other.  Bad times can be sad, frightening, challenging, overwhelming, but they also can help us exhibit the best in ourselves, observe the best in others, find a new appreciation of our fellow human beings, learn, grow, and even totally transform our lives in ways we never imagined.

How have your life experiences affected you?  What have your learned about yourself and others so far during this pandemic?  What will you do with what you have learned?  

Stay safe.  Stay home.  Be well.

Vlog: A Possible Silver Lining

Hi there!  How are you doing?  I hope you are well.

This post is on the possible silver lining of Covid-19.  Now, I realize it is a serious matter.  My heart goes out to the victims and their families.  It's hard to think of there being a silver lining to something so devastating.  But, hear me out.

It seemed as if everyone was on their phones before Covid-19.  They were looking down at the phones behind the wheel, walking in the road, at parties, at the dinner table, paying more attention to their phones than the people around them.  But now there's social isolation, social distancing, and people are finding ways to get together in person or at least virtually.  People have even gathered together in large groups with the shelter in place and social distancing guidelines in place.  It makes me think that we do crave true togetherness in difficult times that the Internet can't replicate.  That's what makes social distancing so difficult, but so necessary at this time.  By keeping our distance, we help stop the spread,  keep each other healthy, and save lives.

When this crisis over let's hope that we remember the importance of in-person communication and connection.  Let's look forward to the time we will be able to truly enjoy those hugs, face to face conversations, and that closeness we may have previously taken for granted or even been averse to.  Or, at least let us make a point to stay connected virtually more often with friends and family we hardly ever did before this crisis.  

And, I hope we remember that technology has its place in society, as in difficult times like these, to keep us connected, but that it should not replace in-person contact.  There is room for both, and neither should be taken for granted or dismissed.  It's all a matter of balance.

Your thoughts?

Vlog: What I'm Doing To Stay Calm, Distracted, and Productive

Hi all!  I hope you are well.

I started out really nervous, frozen with fear over the coronavirus, then cleaning all the time and watching the news all the time.  That wasn't healthy.  I said, "Enough."

The game changer for me was a course I found on Udemy by Joeel and Natalie Rivera on dealing with stress and being more productive during this pandemic.  Perfect!  I have taken several of their  other courses and loved them.  This one was no different.  My mindset did a 180 degree turn.

I am still cautious.  I still watch local and national news for an hour a day, which is all I can handle.  And special bulletins whenever they come up.  But, I am not glued to the coverage.  That was driving me crazy.

I made a schedule, a routine that includes fun, work, and keeping informed about the latest on the virus.  It has made a big difference in my ability to cope with the uncertainty.

Some things I am doing:

• Coloring
• Reading
• Working on a new project regarding coaching
• Exercising
• Getting fresh air--gardening
• Watching Christmas movies 
• Watching favorite funny shows
• Good news videos online
• Doing breath work
• Taking courses on how to relieve stress
• Playing and cudfling with our cats
• Talking with friends
• Talking with my coaches
• Cleaning--reasonably
• Washing my hands often
• Getting good sleep
• Communicating with my husband--fears, concerns, other feelings and thoughts.
• Journaling

What are you doing to reduce stress in this uncertain time? 

I'm available for 30-minute free Instagram chats.  DM me @acnlifecoach.  No strings attached.  No sales pitch.  Just a chance to chat about your worries or simply chat about your interests and hobbies to get your mind off coronavirus for a bit.  I, of course, am also available for 45-minute discovery sessions to see if we would like to work together.  Comment here or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com, or visit my website acnlifecoach.com, for more info.

Be well.

Vlog: Chronic Illness and Food and Unwelcomed Advice: Have The Confidence To Do What's Right For You

Do you have chronic health issues?

Do people give you a hard time or joke about how you eat?

Or, do they give you advice about what you should be eating instead?

I've had people comment  on cranberry juice.  I mix a medication with it.  They say, Oh, but all that sugar!  I get the 100% cranberry juice and mix it with water to get about 33% juice so it's not so strong.  It has no added sugar and about 9 grams of sugar total, compared to other brands that have much higher amounts of added sugar.  So, I'm promoting urinary system health and drinking a healthier version of cranberry juice in order to do so.  Some people choose to take cranberry supplements, but I just haven't taken to them.  

Green tea is another drink I get advice on.  It's so good for you!  I have been advised by my doctor, though, to limit green tea for health reasons (high blood pressure and osteoporosis, if my memory serves me correctly.  It's been awhile since I was told.  I'm not crazy about green tea--or any tea, really--anyway, so I just filed it in the "do not consume" column in my brain and that was that).  

Protein, too.  When I was working with trainers at the gym years ago, they showed some concern over the fact that I'm supposed to eat a low protein diet to help maintain kidney health.  They were respectful of it, but let me know that, without boosting my protein, I wouldn't be growing too much muscle.  They could work with what I had to firm things up, but not much was going to be built beyond that without extra protein.  I still eat fish, chicken and some pork, as well as other sources of protein without really measuring how much I take in. But, I don't take protein supplements. My test results are consistently within acceptable range using this method, so I must be doing something right.  

Get educated about your health issues, your body, and do what is right for you.

There is so much information available online and off.  If you have any questions about what you should and should not be eating, consult reliable sources for answers:  your doctor--or a team of doctors, registered dietician, respected, peer-reviewed medical journal articles, scientific studies, and others.   Choose wisely and make sure to back it up.

Have the confidence to eat what you need to and go without what you have to in order to take care of yourself.  Please don't feel guilty or weird for not taking others' advice when it could compromise your health.  It doesn't matter what Joe down the street does.  It doesn't matter what Molly from work eats.  We each have our unique nutritional needs.  

Briefly explaining it to the person who is giving advice or ribbing you about your food choices might help to educate them help them to better understand where you are coming from and get them off your back.  That is completely up to you.  It's your body.  It's your life.  It's your decision what to share and what not to share with others no matter the nature of your relationship.

If you have any questions or comments for me, leave them in the comments below or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  Please note, though, that I am not a physician or registered dietician, so I cannot give medical advice.  See you back here next Sunday.  Have a great week!

The Twilight Zone: Loneliness and Exhilaration During Life Transition

Hey there!  I was hoping to get this post in last night, but it didn't happen.  I'm sorry about that.  Fighting another cold.  I just had a cold that hung on for five weeks starting in mid-November.  So, I am less than pleased about starting it all over again.  Hopefully this one doesn't last as long.  My husband had round two as well and it only lasted a short time.  Crossing fingers.  I'm not filming a video this time around since I'm not feeling up to it.  I'll resume videos when I feel better.

Now, onto the subject of this week's post.  

The definition of "lonely" is:  being without company or being cut off from others.

The definition of "alone" is:  separated from others.

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely.  I love my alone time and generally prefer it to socializing, except with my closest friends.  Lonely is another story.  Lonely feels draining and isolating and even frightening.  With the changes that have taken place in the last couple years, I find myself both cherishing alone time to contemplate my life and what I want it to be going forward (including who I want to in my life and who I don't) and feeling uneasy about the changes that have occurred so far, and yes, feeling lonely.  It is difficult, yet necessary, to go through these life transitions.  They can force us to be real and teach us a lot about ourselves.

Do you feel lonely even surrounded by people?

Do you love being alone but also long for deep connections with a select few, or even one person?

Are you going through a tough transition in your life where you feel as if you have lost your safety net:  your friends, family, confidantes, and others?  By choice or not, or a bit of both?  

Do you feel alone in the gut-wrenching negative sense even though you love alone time?

Do you feel as if you are disoriented?  

Do you feel as if this change, however unsettling, was needed in order to make valuable changes to your life that can help you start fresh?

Do you feel that there is a purpose to this process and that it will turn out right in the end?

I can answer "yes" to all the above questions.  How about you?  Consider these questions as they relate to your life and personal transition.  

For me, the transition was a bit by choice and a bit not at all.  And it rocked my world.  I tell my husband that it feels like living in the twilight zone.  That may be an exaggeration, because some pretty cool stuff has happened too, but so many things have changed in the last couple of years that it does feel like the twilight zone sometimes.  

But I do feel there is a purpose for this change.  I needed this shake up to make the changes that will lead me to the life I was meant to live.

It is excruciatingly difficult to go through something like this, yet it is so vital to you. To honor your truth.  To be who you are and to be who you are meant to be.  You have to follow your truth in order to be happy and healthy and live a meaningful life.  Following others down their path doesn't work, and your gut will tell you so if you listen closely.  You'll feel uneasy, off, tired, awkward, bored, unfulfilled.  Your essential self, as Martha Beck discusses in her book, "Finding Your Own North Star," will throw a fit and it will do you very well to listen to it.  It knows what you need.

It could get messy and be very uncomfortable, and lonely, and unorganized, as I can attest being in the middle of it myself, but all that stuff is part of the process of becoming who you were meant to be.  

So, what can you do to make it through the process?  Cry, scream, complain, mourn, rest, eat healthy, eat what you want to just because you want to once in awhile, but also celebrate that you are taking charge of your life and making the changes that are most dear and most real to you.  Those changes you need to make and that feel so right you can't quite believe it's taken this long to make them.

What can you do to make the process less uncomfortable and scary?

• Feel your feelings, don't try to snuff them out or bury them deep within.  Journal about those feelings, related thoughts, actions you've taken and actions you plan to take.  Anything that you need to get out, organize, and process.
• Reach out to a coach, a counselor, or a therapist for support.
• Confide in a friend or family member who you are super close to and can trust.
• Join local support groups through your faith organization, hospital or other community agencies, or start your own.
• Join Facebook groups for loners and the lonely.
• Know that, though you feel lost and lonely and confused, you are not truly alone.  There are people who can help you.  There are people who have been down the path you are following and succeeded at finding the life they have always wanted, a meaningful life.  Reach out to those people who resonate most to you.  Reach out to agencies as well.  To helper who can guide you and support you through this difficult, yet necessary, and yes, even exciting (it can fill you with trepidation as well as pure joy to follow your true path), time in your life.
• And always remember, you have your inner voice, your inner guidance system, to steer you toward your truth.  Relying on yourself is the best way to find and live the life you were meant to live.  A fulfilling life.  The life you have always wanted.  Trust yourself, honor yourself, believe in yourself, and then, others will come into your life who can help you live that life you were meant to live.  Again, go with your gut, search for and accept help from those who you feel have your back and are trustworthy.
• It takes guts to do what you are doing.  Rely on yourself and select others to do it.
• And celebrate your turning from a caterpillar to a butterfly, living your truth in vibrant color.

I'd love to hear your stories of life transition or help you to build confidence to begin your own life transition.  Comment below or email me at amy@acnlifecoach.com.  Have an amazing, transformative week!

Vlog: Make Decisions With Confidence

Our thoughts, feelings, reactions--all influence our decisions.

Regarding our health, job, friendships, education, marriage, starting a family, bringing home a new pet, divorce, separation, a large purchase, a big move--big decisions--it is important to make them with confidence.

To gain that confidence, do the research.  

• What does your gut say?
• Is it right for you?
• Does it seem meaningful?
• Does it seem like a weight is lifting off your shoulders just thinking about it?
• Does it excite you?  Or, at least, does it give you some relief?
• Is it practical--can you afford it?
• Will it bring financial hardship?
• If so, how can you prepare ahead of time to ease the burden?
• Who can help?
  

These are just some of the questions to ask yourself.  I'm sure you can come up with others specifically suited to your situation.  Answering them will help you get clear on what you want, what's at stake and how you can move forward in a healthy, meaningful, and productive manner.

Are you faced with an important decision?  Do that research.  Listen to your gut. 

Or, have you made an important decision in the past?  What happened?  Did you tackle it with confidence?  

• Did it not turn out so well?  If so, what did you learn from the experience? 

or

• Did you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?  What have you done to keep up that momentum? 

I'd love to hear your experiences with decision making, and particularly how it was connected to your confidence level.   

Have an amazing week.  I'll catch you back here next Sunday.  Take care.

Vlog: Two Reasons To Celebrate

Hey there!  I hope you had a happy Valentine's Day weekend.  I like to think of it as a day (or weekend) to celebrate love of all types in our lives, not just romantic love.

If you have recently lost a loved one special occasions such as Valentine's Day can be tough.  I hope you have a strong support system to help you through this difficult time.

In other news, I finished my Amazon Associate links page on my website.  I worked all week on it and it now ready for viewing.  Check it out--> www.acnlifecoach.com/affiliate-links.  Let me know what you think.  And, if you have a suggestion for a product you would like me to include on my links page, let me know and I will consider it.  I welcome your input.  

Oh, one thing about my website:  mobile is not working great.  I will be doing some revisions on my site this week, so hopefully I'll be able fix the glitches.  If not, I will call tech support.  Thanks for your patience.

Have a great week.  Be open to new discoveries, laugh out loud fun, and quiet moments of contemplation.  See you back here next week.